Friday, June 02, 2006

(sigh)

I don't feel very good today, I think my body's trying to catch a cold. I'm struggling with a lot of thoughts, and I can't quite get them straightened out...what's important and what's not...does any of it matter? Should I just stop myself from this never-ending struggle and move on? I'm not sure really, but I'm really hoping to find the answer soon. There are certain ways I want to be like, but I feel too lazy to even try them, and then by feeling lazy I kick myself in the tail. I want to be more involved with the kids, and the family as a whole, but I can't seem to find a peaceful way of going about doing this. It seems as though everytime I try, everything ends up in a hole of anger and frustration.

I thought I was supposed to start my new job today, but I guess they didn't have anything for me today. I'm supposed to call them tomorrow morning. Hopefully they have something for me then. It sucks because it starts all of these uneccessary worries and thoughts that just mess everything up other than just trying to trust God with our lives. I love God like crazy and it drives me nuts that I fall back with my trust. I think my problem today especially is that I don't feel good and with that comes a comfort-frustration all in its own. Today's a good day for praying your guts out, then stopping to listen and feel His grace.

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