Friday, March 30, 2007

A Prayer Request

Hey guys, I'm blogging because I need some prayer for a family. They are pretty much being kicked out of their apartment, because the owners just realized they could make more money in that area, so they raised the rent almost $250.00 a month. My friend just had a baby, and she also has a 3 year old, and her husband works like crazy in overtime to bring in what he can. They were approved for a home, which is actually very close to ours, but they are out $1400.00. What I want prayers for is that if they are to move there, then God will provide the money. If not then I pray that they will be able to find something else very soon and come up with the money then as well. I personally pray they will be closer so I can help out better, but maybe that is selfish, cause she's like my adopted sister. My friend's name is Mary, her husband is Mike. And just because it's already set up and I know God works in various ways, if it is on your heart to donate, then please go to my web page and go to the donation button through paypal. Thank you for all of your prayers and also please pray that Mary's family will truly become to know and love the Jesus we know. Thank you.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

What the....

I've been on a relentless struggle with God lately. I just keep going on and on inside and start this war inside my heart and then begin even more struggles. I'm frustrated, as well as aggravated about it all. I stand out, and i trust that He will deliver and then what I end up getting is a ball of confusion and I just don't know how to take that. Now I have been told that God never delivers confusion......I really am beginning to differ. The reason for is the way He speaks to me. It's like a puzzle that I have to figure out. There's a lesson in that and I am okay with that ONCE the lesson is learned, but damn it, sometimes I just want a straight forward answer.

We all sin and carry some with us for all of our lives. I sin. I hate it but then again i still do it. I hate where my thoughts go. I hate my discontent when I see His blessings all around me. I hate that I keep asking Him for more and more, and feel as though I do nothing in return. I just want to be a child of God who stands for Him and everything He believes in. But where are these lines. Where are they drawn out? The Bible. That can be a ball of confusion in itself.

I want to seek the adventure in God. I desire to thoroughly trust Him to take care of us more and more. I long for that trust that if I jump He will catch us. On top of that I want to go into it all knowing this is what He wants from us.....from me. Why all of this passion for nothing? Why all of this energy to just get restless. Why not give it when I need it and can actually DO it?

Many questions of my venting, I know, but I need to get it out. I need to let it out. I desire so much, but not for myself. I look at what it is that I want to do and I can't even figure out why in the world I would want to do such things other than this is God's calling for me. But is it? If it is why isn't it happening?

I'm seeking for my path, and not know where to find it. i know it's being laid before me, but there are so many factors in it where God needs to lay His wonderous hands in it. Maybe I'm just venting at the moment and tomorrow I will feel different, but here I am. Right now. I don't wish any discouragement on anyone, I just need others to know the place I am at the moment. Thank you for listening.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

My Two Weeks Worth

Wow, the last couple of weeks have been slammed with me. I'm exhausted, and yet it looks like events will keep coming. So let's start with what happened first, shall we?

All of my kids, one right after the other got sick with the flu. I had to stay home from work for almost a whole week to take care of them. Then Scott got sick. After a week of puny kids, I had to rush plan a baby shower for my wonderful friend Mary. I was nervous, and tense, but I was finally able to chill out and enjoy it. It went so good, she only needed to get a couple of things afterwards, and she was able to get those with the gift card given to her! God defintely showered her. She gave away all of her baby stuff, so she needed this. Plus she had a lot of fun. It was good. And that night she came to church and shared a big part of her story with us, or at least her recent story. She's been coming to church whenever she can, which isn't often, and to see her able to open up like that was awesome.

Next was the kids' spring break, which I am so dang proud of Scott for being awesome durin that whole time. Three kids all day long is hard when you aren't use to it! Because of spring break, my kids got to go with me to karaoke night! It was awesome, they had fun, but they said the place was too loud. I guess when they can't hear their own screaming, its no fun....oooooookay! They did have fun though. I painted their faces, Kiara made a friend, and I ended up painting her face too! Kiara sang twinkle twinkle little star, Mikah sang You spin me right round, and I sang Sweet child of mine to them. It was fun and tiring. I was glad they wanted to go home early :)

Also during the whole week of spring break, Mikah had to conduct a science experiement. We didn't do anything fancy, but it was still very neat. We put a variety of plant and veggies in food coloring and water for 3 days to watch where the water goes into the plant. He thought it was awesome.

Let's see, what else......oh yeah, we did a henna party at Tipperary Inn on St. Paddy's Day. That was awesome. Granted there were many extremely odd people there, but what else are to expect in that enviroment? My friend Jenny from church is going to St. Augustine's in April for a year. I'm normally broke, so I decided to give her all of the profit from the henna party. It was cool though. I got exactly what I wanted, to hang out at God's market place, He provided the people, I brought henna and conversation. I got to hang out all day with a variety of people, do art/henna on people, and enjoy the party as well. I praise God for it all, and am glad that He had His hands in it.

So the Sunday after the henna party, I watched my friend's child while she went to the hospital. Her grandmother, who raised her, is in the hospital, and it doesn't look good. So I did what I do naturally for others: I prayed my guts out. I prayed for God's will as well as for Him to be patient on calling her home. My friend was schedule for her labor induction the following day. On top of that her family will be on her shoulders when her grandmother passes, not to forget about the devastation it will be for my friend. God is good, and is still being patient!

The next day I took my friend to the hospital for preparation of the induction. The baby's heart rate kept beating high, and had the nurses on edge. After a while of not coming down, the nurses called the doctor in and they were discussing a c-section. She didn't want to do this for many reasons, but would if it meant the well being. Luckily she didn't have to go through one, but the next showed she probably should have.

Everything was going good, my friend had her epideral, the contractions were felt, but tolerable. She dialated fast to a ten, and was pushing. And pushing. And pushing. The head started to deliver, but something was wrwong. You could tell it in the doctor's voice. She kept trying to pull the baby out, but was unable. She started to sound panicky, and yelled for someone to go get another doctor and fast. She kept trying to pull her out, while the nurse was pushing very hard on my friend's stomach. Finally another doctor came in and was able to get the baby out from being stuck.

The doctor rushed the baby to the nurse and the other doctor, but it seemed to be in slow motion when you saw how limp she was, and especially when you could tell she was not breathing. My friend and her husband were panicked and inshock. They wanted answers immediately. Nothing I said calmed them down until I told them that when I came here to the hospital I brought angels with me, and because of those angels her and her baby were going to be safe. Immediately my friend started to do calming breaths, and in seconds the baby started to cry. It was the most beautiful sound. It was as if you felt God's smile down on this family. He shined His sweet light down on them, just for that moment of belief that they were in God's hands.

My friend's baby was a wopping 11pounds 9.8 ounces, 22 inches long. What had happened was her doctor was just measuring her fundus, and not doing an ultrasound. The baby was only measuring at 8lbs. Her body was too big, pretty much, for a natural birth. Her shoulders got stuck. She may have some problems for most of her life, because during the delivery her muscles in her shoulder was stretched beyond where they should have been. She's able to move her hands, but not that arm. But one really awesome thing about babies, is that they can rise up from any problem, especially when they have their own angels.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

So, I'm not doing too good on my Lent season and my goals. Not too good at all. My heart just doesn't seem to be in it right now, I guess. Whether it be selfish reasons or just mixed up in my heart, I don' t know exactly. I can't even tell you where I am in my walk. I feel I just took a vacation or something. One issue that has definitely been throwing me off are my dreams. I'm finding myself too overwhelmed by them and then just too busy to work them out.

My wonderful friend had taught me how to go through my dreams and see how God is speaking through them to me, but it's just so difficult at times to even bring up some of these dreams. It seems like each one I've been having is just so much, before I even go through it.