Monday, October 27, 2008


My brain is tired, my body feels exhausted and yet again I have a paper due tomorrow I am getting stuck on over and over again. Grrrrrrrrrr. So here I am writing about something else in hopes that my brain and I will begin to work together once again.

My oldest son Mikah always as something to make me think and feel I am so not ready to have him grow up yet, and at that same moment I'm excited and hopeful about the man he will become. Of course I feel the same way about the other two, but he's older and I see more maturity in him than the other two for obvious reasons.

When I study, I go and hide in our big family bedroom. He comes back there to grab something or whatnot, then comes over to me and hugs me and says he's proud I study so hard, gives me an almost tearful smile then walks out of the room. This he has done in scrambled ways many times. Makes me all fuzzy inside.

There is a little 2 year old girl and a 3 month old girl living with us as well. There was a time when the 2 year old was not able to get out of her crib yet, because the adult had said no. Apparently when the adult came in to get her 15 minutes later, she found Mikah sitting there reading to the 2 year old. And on top of that he is the only one who can get her to repeat anything (which we have found that Mikah can be a jokster at this) The 3 month old, he just melts over, anything that can make her smile, he is so willing to go the extra mile to do it. THAT GUY JUST ROCK!

Kiara has been my little singer. She's just in love with singer and asks me to sing to her every night before bed. The night of church, I saw her drummin on someone's guitar case, singing "There's a Stirring" (thx Kristen,luv ya) which is one of Kiwi's favorite songs.

Well, my brain is finally allowing me to do something called an essay so I best jump off here and take advantage. Blessings everyone!

Yes this is personal, but why hide God's Love

Danae, the only thing I can tell you is that living with our pastors and in community has been the one true thing that has helped us. Scott and I lost each other long ago and were just barely surviving each day. Eventually when I was right about to take the final step of making an end of our marriage, God threw truth in my face and showed me where I needed to be by showing me where the best place for the ones I hold so dear are-my children whom I just happened to let Scott take when I told him I gave up.

I had to see the sins I had and that it wasn't all Scott. Yes he had his part too, but honestly when I came back, I had a great friend that God spoke through to me and how she didn't even recognize me anymore. Yeah it hurt and burned hearing it, but hey sometimes love hurts and sometimes when we as people need change in someone so bad, we normally have to begin the change with ourselves. I don't know what you are going through recently, but all I know is that I'm praying for you. I have never forgotten you in my prayers.I will email sometime son and we can do our prayers and whatnots then. Love you girl.....sorry if blogging this was weird, but I felt that this was something a lot of people didn't know.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

My brain is moving and it won't stop

So lately I have been suffering from these anxiety/panic attacks. They just come out of no where and all of a sudden I feel like I just want to scream. My heart starts pounding and I just feel out of control. I saw my doctor about it and she put me on something that I can take that calms me down. I'm half and half when it comes to pharmaceuticals. A big part of me wants to go herbal and homeopathic all the way, but then the other part of me is just so desperate to get these issues fix, no more testing the waters. Anyways I'm going to continue to work with my doctor and also find out if there are any herbal remedies I can also mix in for my issues.

On other issues, I will be calling to set up some appointments to check out these two townhomes that are side by side for our possible future community house. Any prayers on the would be fantabulous. Other than all that, I'm studying my guts out, Scott and I are doing very good, and the kids rock, yes sometimes they rock the houseboat in not a good way, but hey they are just kids, can't change that :)


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Here I am

So it has been told to me in nicer words I need to get off my lazy ass and start blogging again. Here I am!
What's been going on with Heather: I have been going to school full-time at El Centro College. I am aiming for nursing or ultrasound technician. Right now I am taking college english, almost college math(haven't a clue on tech term) and human anatomy and physiology. Pretty cool and definitely keeps me busy.

What the Miller's are doing. We are going through an exciting healing process and becoming the family God intended for us to be more and more. Yes there are days where I just want to kick Scott in his butt, but most of the time I restrain myself and use words. I am always telling my kids to use their words, its time I listen.

Right now we are living with the Poe's........on purpose even. Both of our families have thought and prayed hard about it and we all feel its for long term, not sure how long, but that's God's deal not our's. More than a month ago the Mattingly family of five moved in as well. Its been a backa dn forth transition, but adapting to that many people inside one 3 bedroom house can be. Luckily before Scott and the kids arrive the back garage had been changed into a sleeping quarters for the Miller crew.

We are currently homeschooling the Piller (Poe & Miller) kids, which has been fun and adventurest and challenging at times. I don't get to help much because I normally take that time to study. Also we are currently looking for a six bedroom house with at least 2-3 baths in a location that we can still have church and many members/friends do not have to travel. I really feel God has this place already picked out but right now we just have to obey him and learn to listen to His heart so we can find it. Please pray for this to happen in God's timing. With the financial horror all over the world, we are continuously trying to just look at God's economy.

Specific Prayers just from me are:
-5-6 bedrooms with at least an extra room
-2-3 bathrooms
-a lot of parking area for church
-a big (hopefully fenced in) backyard for the kids to play and gardening
-Big living room for community living
-specific place for dining table to stay put, making it easier for community meals during church and during everyday life
-home school room
-needs to be safe to live in, no infestations,mold,about to fall apart

Wow that looks like a lot when you write it out, but right now all I can do is pray and the more who do, that would rock.

Thanks for your prayers and I will try to blog when I can.


Boycotting Election Yet again

I do have to be honest, I was going to vote this year. WAS. I argued with myself constantly about why I should vote. They say our voice ever. Our voice only would count if they counted EACH vote, instead of this electoral college crud.

Let me tell you why I was going to vote. At first it only struck my interest because my english teacher is passing out bonus points for voters....I know I am sooooooooooo pathetic. Then I realized how pathetic it was for me to only vote because of bonus points.

Then I figured, well maybe its time for me to just vote and at least be able to say there I voted, but it didn't make a difference anyways because the state I live in.

So anyways I go back and forth over all of the crap and when I finally realize my chance for registering might be at an end, I looked online and it was. So much for that.

Last time I blogged about this, some person with an opinion like myself pretty much told me I had no right to complain about who became president and all of that hoopla. In my OPINION to those people, they can shovel it because with the mess Bush 1 and Bush 2 drugged this country with it'll take not only a saint, but a magician to lift this country up, and I don't believe any politician in that matter can do that. In the end it will take an uproar of people, much protest and a rise of the people to claim this country back from the government.

We also need to stop killing our brothers and sisters over in these other countries and just bring them home already and let our other brothers and sisters be at peace not worrying about whether or not one of our explosives are going to kill their children.

Overall, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is my opinion, take, leave, or burn it.