Wednesday, August 11, 2004


I'm tired and want to go to bed, but this baby won't stop moving around causing some pain, so I wait. I'm hoping that the pain i feel could turn into contractions, but we'll find out soon enough. My body is more than ready, but this baby is being very patient. I spoke to my father on the phone today and it disturbed me. He was pretty lit, and it just reminded of things of the past I have tried to forgive him for. I kind of pray about or at least have prayerful thoughts on it, and try to move on, but my weakness of letting satan keep reminding me about it all is kind of hard. I've always wondered what it would be like to have two parents. I remember shortly after I decided to follow Christ, it was weird calling Him father. I never knew the term before. At least not in a caring sense. A father to follow and let be my guide. A father to love and respect. A father to be happy to be around. I never got that with my own father. I don't have sorrow over this though. My mother was and still is awesome. She cared for us as well as took care of us. I still depend on our conversations together, just for support.well i'm gonna try to lay down and see what happens :) .

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

one piece

Well, still in one piece. Not willingly of course. It sucks cause I feel like a burden on my mom. She's afraid to leave, just in case I have the baby. She hasn't missed a grandchild's birth yet, and isn't too willing to start now. I know she misses her bed though, and wanted to get somethings done at home while she's on vacation. But if I had a button for this little guy's ejection seat, believe me I'd be pushing away :) ! Its been wonderful having her here, she's been helping out a lot, plus I got a ton of things done that probably wouldn't have ever been done without her. I love my mommy.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

lil squirt

Still waiting on this little squirt to come and meet us. I've also got my little babes back, so that has defintely cheered me up. I missed them like crazy. I've never had them gone more than 5 days, so its defintely nice to have htem back. My mom is still here. I hope she stays until the baby comes, but that really depends on how long it will be. Please pray for my nephew. Gavin. He just had surgery to get his adenoids and tonsils removed and they also put tubes in his ears again. Ever since he's been pretty sick and hasn't gotten better. My sister is scared and not sure how to feel or what to think. Plus, she just started a new job, that she'll more than likely have to quit so she can care for him.

Friday, August 06, 2004

the deal

Here's the deal. I'm tired, I hurt everywhere, I miss my kids. My mom has been up this past week for the baby, and still no baby. My due date is Saturday...........this sucks. I'm so ready to never be pregnant again. I love babies, but these pregnancies are getting unbearable. I'm also very anxious to meet this little one. He can't replce the baby we lost, no one can, but he will still make a wonderful addition to our family. I hope its going to be soon. My back is breaking.