Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Life in Community

Wow, major jumps from where my last post left off. I'm a slacker in my moments and blogging definitely got left behind for awhile. For those who don't know, I am now in Dallas living with my family in community with the Poes. It's been really good and humbling at points. Just a short tidbit on what happened and why we are here...... Our family was covered and covering sins, not addressing them, and just smiling on the outside while we were screaming on the inside. We were in a cycle that could only be broken by God, and when we went up to South Dakota, the truth hit and it hit harder than ever. Shocked, scared and feeling majorly lost I almost broke a marriage that is meant to last forever.
Scott and the kids had went to Indiana for a little while until our church helped them come back home to Dallas. There the major transformation had begun. They all went through some extreme changes where God just carried their hearts closer to Him and Scotty and the kids had one on one councel and discipleship by living with the pastors of our church.
I however was still covered and digging deeper holes than ever. I had came down to Dallas to visit, and God had put on a friend's heart to confront me, and boy did she. She did it the way it needed to be. Upfront, honest, passionate, loving, yet also convicting in such a way I would understand the extreme need for change. I didn't only need to change, I needed to be transformed from the inside like a clean sweep.
I went back to Dallas struggling, back and forth about what I should do and how I should do it. Just up and leave my father's company, that seemed so difficult and humbling because he expected me to be there. I cancel the bid on our house, and began to sell a lot of my things so I could get back. But I was still wanting to find many ways to hesitate and stall the move that would freak out my father. One day I was ironing, which is freaky cause I never iron, and as I was clearing away the wrinkles in my clothes God spoke to me through the process. He helped me see and feel that He wanted to do the same with me. He wanted to iron my the wrinkles. Also I felt Him saying that the sooner I get back, the sooner I can expect transformation.
When I got back I struggled in my new skin, the healing process isn't an easy one with many wounds.-------to be continued.......