Thursday, September 28, 2006

Dry Sockets with encouragement

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me, but I have a feeling it's soon to end. I am in healing with my dry sockets, and no one has a cold. Yay! I should be fully healed in five to six days. I'm very much looking forward to that. Unfortuantely between my cold last week, and my pain this week, I've missed a total of 5 days on my next paycheck. Ouch. But in all honesty, I needed to take those times off. Thank God my boss is so very understanding! Any other boss would have fired me.

Good news on the horizon! I'm very encouraged about our moving situation. No reason, other than God is shining His grace on me about it and giving me faith to perservere. We have no money, no idea, but we have a target and our focus is on God about it, so it's all good!. I can't wait until this place is ours. This place is perfect in many, many ways.

To the right we have a column about our situation. We need prayers, tons of prayers. Anyone who will even take ten seconds to pray for our housing situation, please do, pass it on, put it on your prayer request at church. If God leads you to support us in any other way, great, but I'm begging for your prayers. I don't feel desparate, but encouraged to ask for all the prayers we can get. I know God will provide, it's just a matter of when, where, who, and how. Thank you friends. Much love and many blessings to you all.

Monday, September 25, 2006


I am pretty sure we found our future home. And maybe for the next few years, we'll find that out very soon I think.
On the recovery note. I hurt, bad. Do you realize how hard it is to barely talk when you have three kids that just don't listen? I believe it is time to bring in the hard and cruel law. The one that puts the fear in your children the milisecond they cross the line. Anyways...more daydreaming later. Pain sucks, alot. What even sucks more than pain is the kind the you have to take heavy doses of narcotics that make you nauseated. And imagine having that with three kids. I've missed work, and I'm tired of feeling ill and in pain. Anyways, here I am, still just waiting to wake up pain free.

Hopefully next time I blog, we'll know more about our new place. :)

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Blessed are those who mourn,

Matt 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Some may easily confused about this passage. Why would we want to mourn? What if we have nothing to mourn for? The message on my heart about that is, we have many things to mourn. There are so many things going on in this world let alone just down the street from you. When you grieve and mourn, you allow your heart to be awkened to the reality of something painful that has or is happening. It's the acceptance to feel pain.

What do I want to do when I read this? I desire to choose a day here and there to mourn and pray for something that I haven't any choice other than to pray and mourn.

This month I choose the subject of human trafficking. Where children are sold or kidnapped into sexual slavery and abuse. Where these poor souls will be forced to hand their whole bodies over almost 40 times a day to total stranger to have what they will with them for the right price. For the parents of these individuals who don't know what has happened with their missing, or do know but still can't find their baby. For those who are killed just for getting ill from the torture their body has been forced to go through. My heart sinks for this issue. Its drowning as a matter of fact. Awareness is one thing but what else can you do? My heart feels led to prayer, a consistent prayer that can be done daily.

I read stories and true happenings, then I look at my daughter. The tears start flowing. I look over at my boys, and they just keep flowing. How can someone do this to a child or anyone?? I would be lying if I didn't say my heart filled with hatred towards people who do this. God is helping me with this, but man, in all honesty I really don't want to let go of this hate. The world has easily taught myself of revenge and how hate can bring you strength. Thankfully God knows my heart better and can sweet talk to me into His world, where only truth is told.

Kristen gave a website with a lot of information.

Sweet loving Jesus, I beg you to wrap around your children in sexual slavery. Protect them in their hearts, minds, and bodies. Set them free, oh God. Set them free. I plead for their lives and well being God. Return them to their family, let them go home. Let them find themselves in you Jesus. Let them find their freedom there. Sweet Jesus,I know your heart breaks for those in these bondages, allow their prey to feel this heart break with every breath they take God. Put your justice through each of them. Hear my prayer , Oh God, hear my cries! Set them free, and grant them your unfailing love and healing. Thank you Jesus.

The night after

Ow, is about all I can say right now. I'm currently awaiting for my kick-butt pain medicine to start working. Having your teeth surgically removed is no picnic, I must say. Thank God for a community that will willingly kidnap your kids to make you rest. I missed church tonight and I'm sad for it. I get obsessive about being a part of the community. This realization is more and more everyday. It just seems as though I can never get enough. I'm not saying this is a bad hing, it just helps me realize living in a community house would be great for me. My cheeks are swollen, and part of my lower lip is bruised. I look as though somebody did a serious smacking around on my face. This is where I should say, "If you think I look bad, you should see the other person!" Nah, but hey if your children ever fall (Which they WILL) and get left with an ever-last, horrible bruising this is what you say. Its funny, to everyone. Okay anyways I wanted to check in, let ya know I'm as well as to be expected, but am recovering. Yay.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Painful Process, but hey it happens

My gums are infected due to my ripping wisdom tooth that decided to pop through. It hurts, pretty bad. I was told I wouldn't be able to get them out for a month and a half due to appointment issues, yet on the same call I was put on hold for awhile and when she came back on I was able to get my consultation done today and go under the knife tomorrow. Yay GOD! Bummer! Yay! Friggin' OUCH! I can't wait to be healed already. It'll be good.

Housing stuff, well a closed door has appeared in front of us about buying, which I give praise for because too many open doors can make a person insane. We still have many closed, yet hopefully will open soon doors which lay ahead with apartments, but we're still inside the wait upon God's great beauty to shine through and keep on trusting in Him. Yes, I get discouraged, but honestly I think my mind would be numb if not due to the long, long , long searches in all areas, and slammed doors in our faces. I've been told many times what we seek doesn't exist. Hmmmm. Okay, but if by the miraculous chance it does show up, could you call me? Thanks. Click. Moving is hard, but it is time. My heart knows it and every bite I get is just another affirmation we are moving in the right direction.

Poor Scott broke his toe, and it's causing him some pain. There's unfortunately not much to do other than prop it up and ice it, take IBProfen, and don't wear certain shoes. I remember when I chipped my tail bone. I begged my mom to take me to the hospital, and when she did all they gave me was some narcotics and told me to stay off me bum. Bones breaking hurts. Please pray for his very fast healing and easing of pain and discomfort.

Man, oh man, many mnay things just appear to be changing. Its not so hot out anymore PRAISE GOD! What was He thinking making this friggin' state He called us to sooo friggin' hot!?! He's crazy, plain and simple, Brilliant, but crazy!

Went to the Massive Attack concert with Scott. That was fun! I was sicker than a dog, but still went and had fun. I can't say no to a concert, just don't have it in me.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Stage, seek, pound

So my funny Honey, Scotty, decided last night to point out to me my titles in the RSS feed, and wow, I've been bitchy and depressed, huh? Well, even before that I've been trying so hard to write somethings that are positive and going, on, but in all honestly it truelly has been rough emotionally for me. I needed today, sooooooooo bad. The past week and a half Mikah's class has been going through training and practice for tonight where the whole 2nd grade did a tribute for what happened years ago on 9/11. Mikah's wonderful teacher had asked me if it was okay if Mikah read a story to the audience. I said it was okay with me, but the trick was getting him excited enough to do it happily. I told her honestly, we would do our best to encourage him, but the biggest part will come from her, because he really strives to make her happy. Suck-up, heh heh just kidding :) But seriously, if this kid is missing something or thinks he has done something wrong, he spazzes out and will work his tail off to make it right. Anyways, two days after we tell him he says he doesn't want to do it. I told him that if that was his choice he is to be the one to tell her, not me, because I think he would do well. He didn't talk about it, but his daddy talked with his teacher about how we as parents think its importnat that she doesn't let him back out of it, but try to encourage him. And boy she did! Yesterday and today he's been nervous, but excited about it, and has been practicing very hard. We couldn't arrive fast enough for him! He was so nervous but thrilled about it, it was adorable. He goes up, and I quickly call his daddy on the brought tears to me, not many, but man they wanted to flow. I realized at that moment, I can't take pride in this victory, neither can his teacher, but God truelly gave him a voice and the courage. He spoke in front of at least 60-80 people....NO JOKE! That a lot of frigging people! Plus, he did it TWICE! He had to at the last minute fill in for a kid who didn't show up, and then read a whole book to the auditorium. That's some guts man!

I'm just so blown away by him, and how much of an advantage he's got to be willing to face his fears like that. Makes me wonder what God has in store for him.

We are still on the search and in the questions of: to buy or to rent, to ghetto with community, or on our own, or wait for a miracle in our area to show up, 2 bedroom or 3 bedroom, and I'm positive God has a place, we just get to run into it.

I've been practicing on the djembe drum, that's frigging fun and addicting! I'm pounding to music I listen to and just trying to find my own beat. My hands and wrists are sore just from tonight, man I beat that thang! It felt sooooooooooo good.I'm also playing during church to get in some practice too. Thank God I'm with a group that understand the learning process!

Saturday, September 09, 2006


Not so good here. Feeling heavily discouraged just about me. My memory is going weird. I look and look in the same place for things, really thinking they are there, look slowly, look fast, it's not there. But you better believe if I go to that space place, not looking for the object, just at the brink of giving up, it's there. This has happened many many many many times in the past couple of days. After it happens I really feel something is wrong. Or at least going on. My brain isn't working the way it needs to.

Asa has been a terror lately. I don't even want to go into the details right now. But man, this kid better straighten up NOW, because I have no patience or tolerance for the crap he's been doing.

I'm exhausted, I feel like a fool, I'm stressed, and I just feel pissed off right now because I'm allowing myself to feel and react this way.