Tuesday, October 23, 2007

My Heart

Tonight I've struggled with so many things all at once. My biggest was forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an easy gift to give, but without being able to give it, out tear down apiece of you every single day you hold back to give it. I've had to learn to forgive a long time ago with my father. This was hard, one of the hardest things I have ever done, but after years of praying for him and for myself to be able to forgive him fully, I have seen the true beauty that God has put into my father. He was an alcoholic for years and there was never a piece of him that showed remorse for the damage that his actions caused my family. It was hard, with all of the lies and deception, but finally I was able to do it. God gave me a gift of seeing what He could do when I went to visit my dad this year. I found out when I was there that it had been more than two years since his last drink. Not only that but he was just a totally different person living in a community of love and family always supportive. These memories all came to me at once, and has helped me forgive the one I need to at this pressing time. Thanks be to God.

Another thing I've struggled with tonight is my schooling. I've been really sick this week with a chest cold and before it was migraines. My schoolwork is definitely starting to show the lack of participation I have because of these things. I question a lot of going to school because of it and that doesn't put me in a good place. I will keep pressing on though, and get through this semester, and pray that God will keep the doors open for when the next semester begins. Thanks be to God I have made it this far.

My heart has always been towards helping others since God has filled my heart, but I have always been confused and baffled of where to start. With so many problems in this world and so many people, its difficult to find the place where I fit in inside His plan. So what have I done? I have been scattered all over the place, building relationships, helping those around me, and once I find something else, I jump at it leaving the others. This is not what God planned, but this is what I have done trying to find my place. Doing something I strongly desire and being able to make a living at it, so I can actually stick with it. Henna parties, karaoke, my close friends God has gave me through relationship building, all of it got left behind for school. Yes, school is important, and I prayed about it a lot before I jumped into it, but my heart feels like it is being tugged at once again. Children with cancer, it's not something that can be overlooked because its too hard to bare. And here it is on my heart and I want to jump into it like crazy and bring beautiful smiles on these courageous children. I want to show them the angels that are with them, and bring hope once again to their families. I want to show my children how much love they can bring to others. I want to bring encouragement to the staff that goes to work everyday to take of these angels and show them how much they are appreciated. I want to celebrate everyday these kids battle with them. .....But is this where God wants me? Do I continue to go to school, and get my nursing degree and go into this field? Or do I take a leap of faith and just do it now? Degrees, extra money, financial security, throw that out the window. My question for God is how He wants me to do this. I never receive passions this strong for nothing, but I want to do this right. His way, not my way. Please pray for God to give me the guidance in this and for it to be so strong and knowing that I can't ignore it. Thank you.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Yup, more and more prayers.....THANKS!

So many things and yet again so little time to talk about it. Here's a quick summary of what has all happened in the past couple of weeks and what is soon to come:


  1. My friend's grandmother who was nearing death so fast, got her leg amputated and will get to go home soon. Please pray for a great home nurse and the capabilities of her family to care for her.
  2. My friend who has been in severe need of a car is getting one in a little bit. Still some things to get sorted, but things are happening in that direction.
  3. I've been having henna parties at my house where ladies will come and get some henna for a decent price. This helps out when funds are low. Please pray that this will keep going good and get better.
  4. I went out to Garland, TX the saturday before July 4th, with a henna booth. It was going so good then the rains came, and ruined mine and my partners items. Everything was soaked and many things had to be thrown away and we are still in the works of replacing it. Plus after the rains we got sent home due to more storms, and we all ended up losing money.
5. Mikah has a guitar and is slowly but surely trying to learn it. He's easily discouraged, so please pray for encouragement & discipline.

Looking Forward to:

  1. July 14th, Spiritual Retreat.....just praying and reading the bible, and listening/ pray for clarity, refreshment, and my friend and I to have a total God experience
  2. Building Dallas Henna business......not sure if this will happen sooner or later , please pray for clarity on this
  3. School, I start college in August. I will be taking some pre-requisite classes to prepare for nursing school in a year or so. Pray for discipine, patience, clarity, open mind/heart, for my family, babysitting
  4. Job promotion at my job.....this will come soon, not sure when, but it will happen if I'm there for this next year. Pray for encouragement and discipline.
  5. Kid go back to school in August. Please pray that we will be able to figure out what school, where, how, yada yada yada
  6. Helping my friend build relationships in her neighborhood

That's just off the top of my head. I'm sure there is more, but here's some prayer concerns I have:
  1. My husband grandfather isn't doing well at all. He is a great man and a great servant of Christ. Please pray for a painless journey home, care and wisdom for those left behind, and that Scott and the family will be able to make it there when it is our time to be there.
  2. My friend's family, they have broken up, but are slowly getting back to some kind of connection that is somewhat healthy, pray for this family to learn forgiveness, and use it for good, pray for redemption and the son of God to be poured on their hearts
  3. Pray for me and my medication to continue to work for my anxiety and depression
  4. Pray for Mikah and fill him with compassion and mercy and for him to be able to communicate what bothers him
  5. Pray for Kiara and that she will be strong when she just wants to crumble away, but also allow her heart to be kept full of the love and sweetness she has for others
  6. Pray for Asa that he learns well and becomes disciplined, and a bit more steady.
  7. Pray that our family will be binded together in the holiness of God and that we will be and example of His love together
  8. And just pray for each other and all of those around you.

Monday, June 04, 2007


I'm not quite sure how I feel at the moment. The past couple of weeks have been momentous, and just go, go, go. There's a lot of good things happening and bad things, but hey that's life, and that's why I am here, for the good and the bad, just as long as I'm on God's path...I'm good.

I'm learning a lot more on how to just trust God and allow Him to wow you. I also know that it's always at the last minute, but hey that's okay too.

I am very tired at the moment, but I mostly wanted to jump up here and ask you all to keep praying for energy for me, as well as organization in my life a tad bit. Thanks, I'll write more soon.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Prayer Update

Thank you all for praying. I'm writing again for prayer updates. Honestly I don't do well at writing these kinds of things, but there's just so much going on I need more prayer and support.

Yesterday I took my friend to go get her sister from her mother's because her mother hasn't been taking care of her due to her own addictions. There are so many issues with this particular situation, and it's really hard to go into all of it right now. We need clothing pants/shorts size 18-20, and 1x-2x shirts for her sister. All of her clothing that she does have has holes all over them, and even those we were unable to get because we didn't want to have any confrontations at her mother's home. There are difficult times coming up considering legal issues and all of that, but we are very soon to battle for my friend's custody of her sister who is mute/deaf/mentally handicapped. Please pray that this will happen and if any money is needed God will provide graciously. Time has passed to be patient with her mother to sober up and take care of her. We must take care of her first and foremost.

Another karaoke update: I went last night and there were so many people that I haven't seen in awhile, I got to reconnect with them. There was this one guy in particular that when I first met him, he was in this "If there is a God, He really hates me." mindset. Over the time I have spent with him he has held onto that very tightly. Well, last night was different. I had a hard time last night , because of everything going on with my friend so I talked with him about some of it, and the first thing he said about it was, "Thank God you were there for her!" and mentioned something about it was too easy of a coincidence to be a coincidence. This is where in my mind's eye I saw God laughing at my amazement!

Also I gathered up more names for a henna party. Pray for a babysitter....and the money for one, because there is at least 25 people for a henna party and we will have many of their kids needing to be cared for during this time. By the way, the number 25 is only the adults! Tomorrow I will be setting the date in stone and contacting all those who are interested in coming. Pray for a great response and turnout! Most of these ladies I have only met once, and am hoping some of them will be around a tad bit more.

More things needed for prayer: Mikah and Kiara's schooling next year. My heart is leaning against public school next year. I've been fighting it, but then a friend came to me and confirmed what God is nudging at. I have no idea what will become of it all, but please pray for clarity, understanding, capability, and enjoyment in whatever better way God has for us. Right now I look back and Mikah isn't being challenged academically enough, neither is Kiara. Also The kids are coming home miserable more days than happy.

I will be spending this summer doing workshops for our kids in the community to keep up on what they have learned, but also on challenging where they want to be challenged. For toddlers Asa's age, I'll be teaching ABC's 1-2-3s, and a lot of vocalizing and speech. Kiara's age group will begin to learn how to read and do more with math, but the biggest focus will be the reading. Mikah's age will learn more cursive, get awesome at multiplication/division, and perfect at subtracting/addition/fractions, as well as some science/art projects here and there. What I need for this is art supplies, paper, books easy and hard, dry erase markers, finger paint, and simple things like paper plates, brown lunch paper bags, straws, cotton balls, and glue. I'm sure there's more, but that's just off the top of my head. Also if there is anyone who wants to volunteer their time let me know. I should have a schedule set up by June 15th.

I also need some serious prayers for my sister-in-law. She has been so sick with pancreatitis among her other health problems. She can't eat anything without getting sick, not even a sip of water. She's going so anemic, they had to give her blood transfusions. She's is constant severe pain, they have to give her extremely heavy amounts of pain meds to keep her somewhat okay. And just here recently she's just been so frustrated with always being admitted into the hospital and not being able to live a normal life, she signed herself out of the hospital against medical advice. She's so out of it, and frustrated, and sick, please pray for her health all around.

Lastly, I need prayers for our financial area. Both of our cars need work. Especially my husband's, the brakes are in yucky shape. Also, here lately I have been needing to drive around a lot to help my friend, and go places. Gas prices keep rising and I know my friend doesn't have any money to help with that. Also I've been driving a lot at work and for karaoke. So those are the situations as of now. I am sorry to keep emailing you all, but with so much going on I really need some heavy prayers going everywhere. Thank you so much. Please keep praying and I'll definitely keep you all updated.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Happy mommy's day

“When God created mothers”
by: Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of overtime when the angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”
And the Lord said, “Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 movable parts....all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And six pairs of hands.”
The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands? No way.”
“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”
“That’s on a standard model?” asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t, but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”
“Lord,” said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, “come to bed. Tomorrow--”
“I can’t,” said the Lord. “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.”
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.
“But tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You can not imagine what this mother can do or endure.”
“Can it think?”
“Not only think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.”
“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”
“What’s it for?”
“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”
“You are a genius,” said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there.”

Sunday, May 13, 2007


There has been quite a lot going on here recently. I've been learning very quickly that when you throw a lot of worried prayers of pleading Him to reveal Himself in the areas you feel called to, He sometimes gives it all to you at once.

It has been awhile since my last henna party and I've been sad because of it, but just too tired and busy. Well recently I've been busy meeting people and setting up at least 4 different groups of ladies who what to come to one of my henna parties. I've been being a part of some art shows and have met many different kinds of great people for networking. That's been a lot of fun.

Also soon I'm going to do some craft fairs this summer to raise some money, and am hoping to do it with a group of friends I met from my last job. And at the picnics for my kids' last days at school I am coming in to do face painting with the kids, get phone numbers from some parents and have some get togethers over the summer to keep in touch.

Also my best friend has moved very close to us, so I am able to see her and help her much more than ever before. She use to live 20 minutes from us and now she is only 4 minutes away. This is such an answered prayer in so many ways. God has His eyes on this family in a very serious God pouring His grace, love, and mercifuless ways. Because I'm now able to see her more, I am also seeing a bunch of her other family members as well. I've been actually considered as part of the family. It is so strange how much they have been changing around me and, before her family just wasn't sure about me and my motives. But now they invite me to every event they have. God has so much more to reveal to them, I can't wait for Him to open their hearts up to Him.

My friend, who I met working at Michael's, is already reaching for God in so many ways. Her heart just hungers for Him and community, and it's helping me crave more of that hunger. Like a team.

Karaoke: This can be a long one, so please bear with me. One night as I was on my way to karaoke, I found myself frustrated about going to karaoke. I'm totally okay with going, but this has been every week for quite a while, and there for a while, it seemed like the crowd was changing and I lost touch of certain people.

Well, so I pretty much asked God if He was wanted me to keep going to the karaoke bar, then I needed Him to reveal to me what He sees and why I need to go so often, as well as some encouragement about it all. Well that very night a girl I've talked with many times just totally opened up to me, and I was able to be there for her in a rough time. The same night this guy who normally comes in with his wife, and so I went up to him and asked him where she was, and he told me about how she's been having a really rough time with her health and she can't really go anywhere.

Then just this last time my awesome friend and I were able to save at least one or more lives, by giving a guy a ride home when he was not okay at all to drive, but was going to anyways.

And just last night we were able to surprise our karaoke dj at another job on his birthday. He was really surprised it was awesome.

Also I've been making friends at my husband's work. I've been babysitting one of their kids, another one I just had a heart to heart conversation with about her son's sickness, and was able to I'm hoping open a door for God to jump into. Friends with some of his customers....just meeting so many people.

Today, I drove a friend's grandmother who is soon to pass away on a long ride to Abilene to say goodbye to her son. This has been one of the most difficult days for me. Its just so sad, but today God gave me a peace about it. I will soon be praying with her grandmother, and my friend.

Scott and I have also been trying to reconnect with some of our old friends in high school. It's always weird looking back at where you came from, but it's always refreshing when God drops His comfort and encouragement into it. There's much more I'm sure, but I'm really exhausted right now.

I really want to ask for prayer for energy and some good quality time with my family ( which should begin soon with school break :) ) , and just for strength for our own family to love each other more and more as we reach out to others together as a family. Thank you for all of your prayers and support.

Heather Miller

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Yo, hello, fellow peeps!

Wow, all three kids are asleep, it's Friday night, PARTY!!!!! Yeah okay, maybe a beer or two, but tonight I'm working. On what you might ask? I get to be a part of Bride of the Cape. It's gonna have almost a hundred artists/cartoonists and they expect around 5000 people to come to this. I'm excited I was able to get in with the fabulous people from Art Love Magic to do my henna....God knows I need the money and I am more than willing to do this kind of thing for money because I enjoy, it's creative, I get to hang out with people and network/make relationships, oh yeah did I mention I get to do this for money??? I'm really thrilled. My henna thing is just growing and growing with my big umph behind it, I hope to take it far. Even if I only do it one or two weekends out of the month, this is rockin.

Okay guys, back to work for me :) Things work out smoothly the more you prep for it.

Friday, April 20, 2007

There without being there

I am not okay. Actually I am far from being okay. There are so many tragedies happening with members of my family and I can't be there with them. I've never been in this situation before that I couldn't be there. I was always there. But God has called us here, and I sometimes see why, but this is the most difficult thing I am struggling with. Not being able to be there. My heart is breaking for them all, and I know I may not be the best person for them to be around, but that is how I feel I am helping.

There has got to be a better way for me to reach out to my family, but I don't know how other than listening over the phone and pray. And cry.

My sister-in-law is in some really bad shape. Never-ending pain, always in the hospital, she's not doing well at all. On top of that she's dealing with some extreme things that I can't go into. Please pray for her healing, physical and emotional.

I'm in shock, and in extreme emotional pain, I'm sorry but I have no more words to express what I need to say.

Thank you for praying.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


I just found out yesterday morning that my 10 yr. old cousin past away. She's had seizures since she was a baby, and they were surprised she lived this long. My heart is torn apart by this. Really bad. I didn't know her, and I'm very sad that I didn't. I wish I could get up there for the funeral but right now my car and Scott's car really shouldn't take a trip like this without being fixed first. We don't have the money to fix the cars or make the trip. I'm just really trying to trust in God to find me a way up there to South Dakota. I know my family would understand if I can't go, but I feel I really need to be there for my family I've neglected to be in contact with for so many years. If I were to drive up there I would need to leave tomorrow. I know God would provide the funds and way if I need to be up there. I also know that he would mend my torn heart if I can't go. Just please pray, I feel a bit hopeless right now in my ability to go. I'm filled with so much regret. Thanks for listening.

Saturday, April 14, 2007


Oh yes, the time has come! Please come and support me and many other artists! I will be doing henna all night long and enjoying great conversations with many people. YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT! I went last time in February and it was SPECTACULAR! Bring your friends! Bring strangers! Contact me if you have any questions.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Answered Prayers

Praise God Almighty! Thank you all for your prayers! My friend received just the amount she needed to get her newly rented place! I want to thank EVERYONE involved in making this happen! When I told her she started crying, and was in disbelief. Her husband gave me a big grateful hug today, with watery eyes. This whole time, everytime I was around her, she was worrying about what was going to happen, and all I would tell her was that it'll all work out at the last minute, just keep praying for it.

And here we are handing her a check the day it needs to be turned in! I LOVE how God's grace works. What's so amazing is not only that this will really touch this family, but their WHOLE family and their friends. You know how God works. I feel so blessed to know them and be be on the sidelines to this.

Friday, March 30, 2007

A Prayer Request

Hey guys, I'm blogging because I need some prayer for a family. They are pretty much being kicked out of their apartment, because the owners just realized they could make more money in that area, so they raised the rent almost $250.00 a month. My friend just had a baby, and she also has a 3 year old, and her husband works like crazy in overtime to bring in what he can. They were approved for a home, which is actually very close to ours, but they are out $1400.00. What I want prayers for is that if they are to move there, then God will provide the money. If not then I pray that they will be able to find something else very soon and come up with the money then as well. I personally pray they will be closer so I can help out better, but maybe that is selfish, cause she's like my adopted sister. My friend's name is Mary, her husband is Mike. And just because it's already set up and I know God works in various ways, if it is on your heart to donate, then please go to my web page and go to the donation button through paypal. Thank you for all of your prayers and also please pray that Mary's family will truly become to know and love the Jesus we know. Thank you.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

What the....

I've been on a relentless struggle with God lately. I just keep going on and on inside and start this war inside my heart and then begin even more struggles. I'm frustrated, as well as aggravated about it all. I stand out, and i trust that He will deliver and then what I end up getting is a ball of confusion and I just don't know how to take that. Now I have been told that God never delivers confusion......I really am beginning to differ. The reason for is the way He speaks to me. It's like a puzzle that I have to figure out. There's a lesson in that and I am okay with that ONCE the lesson is learned, but damn it, sometimes I just want a straight forward answer.

We all sin and carry some with us for all of our lives. I sin. I hate it but then again i still do it. I hate where my thoughts go. I hate my discontent when I see His blessings all around me. I hate that I keep asking Him for more and more, and feel as though I do nothing in return. I just want to be a child of God who stands for Him and everything He believes in. But where are these lines. Where are they drawn out? The Bible. That can be a ball of confusion in itself.

I want to seek the adventure in God. I desire to thoroughly trust Him to take care of us more and more. I long for that trust that if I jump He will catch us. On top of that I want to go into it all knowing this is what He wants from us.....from me. Why all of this passion for nothing? Why all of this energy to just get restless. Why not give it when I need it and can actually DO it?

Many questions of my venting, I know, but I need to get it out. I need to let it out. I desire so much, but not for myself. I look at what it is that I want to do and I can't even figure out why in the world I would want to do such things other than this is God's calling for me. But is it? If it is why isn't it happening?

I'm seeking for my path, and not know where to find it. i know it's being laid before me, but there are so many factors in it where God needs to lay His wonderous hands in it. Maybe I'm just venting at the moment and tomorrow I will feel different, but here I am. Right now. I don't wish any discouragement on anyone, I just need others to know the place I am at the moment. Thank you for listening.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

My Two Weeks Worth

Wow, the last couple of weeks have been slammed with me. I'm exhausted, and yet it looks like events will keep coming. So let's start with what happened first, shall we?

All of my kids, one right after the other got sick with the flu. I had to stay home from work for almost a whole week to take care of them. Then Scott got sick. After a week of puny kids, I had to rush plan a baby shower for my wonderful friend Mary. I was nervous, and tense, but I was finally able to chill out and enjoy it. It went so good, she only needed to get a couple of things afterwards, and she was able to get those with the gift card given to her! God defintely showered her. She gave away all of her baby stuff, so she needed this. Plus she had a lot of fun. It was good. And that night she came to church and shared a big part of her story with us, or at least her recent story. She's been coming to church whenever she can, which isn't often, and to see her able to open up like that was awesome.

Next was the kids' spring break, which I am so dang proud of Scott for being awesome durin that whole time. Three kids all day long is hard when you aren't use to it! Because of spring break, my kids got to go with me to karaoke night! It was awesome, they had fun, but they said the place was too loud. I guess when they can't hear their own screaming, its no fun....oooooookay! They did have fun though. I painted their faces, Kiara made a friend, and I ended up painting her face too! Kiara sang twinkle twinkle little star, Mikah sang You spin me right round, and I sang Sweet child of mine to them. It was fun and tiring. I was glad they wanted to go home early :)

Also during the whole week of spring break, Mikah had to conduct a science experiement. We didn't do anything fancy, but it was still very neat. We put a variety of plant and veggies in food coloring and water for 3 days to watch where the water goes into the plant. He thought it was awesome.

Let's see, what else......oh yeah, we did a henna party at Tipperary Inn on St. Paddy's Day. That was awesome. Granted there were many extremely odd people there, but what else are to expect in that enviroment? My friend Jenny from church is going to St. Augustine's in April for a year. I'm normally broke, so I decided to give her all of the profit from the henna party. It was cool though. I got exactly what I wanted, to hang out at God's market place, He provided the people, I brought henna and conversation. I got to hang out all day with a variety of people, do art/henna on people, and enjoy the party as well. I praise God for it all, and am glad that He had His hands in it.

So the Sunday after the henna party, I watched my friend's child while she went to the hospital. Her grandmother, who raised her, is in the hospital, and it doesn't look good. So I did what I do naturally for others: I prayed my guts out. I prayed for God's will as well as for Him to be patient on calling her home. My friend was schedule for her labor induction the following day. On top of that her family will be on her shoulders when her grandmother passes, not to forget about the devastation it will be for my friend. God is good, and is still being patient!

The next day I took my friend to the hospital for preparation of the induction. The baby's heart rate kept beating high, and had the nurses on edge. After a while of not coming down, the nurses called the doctor in and they were discussing a c-section. She didn't want to do this for many reasons, but would if it meant the well being. Luckily she didn't have to go through one, but the next showed she probably should have.

Everything was going good, my friend had her epideral, the contractions were felt, but tolerable. She dialated fast to a ten, and was pushing. And pushing. And pushing. The head started to deliver, but something was wrwong. You could tell it in the doctor's voice. She kept trying to pull the baby out, but was unable. She started to sound panicky, and yelled for someone to go get another doctor and fast. She kept trying to pull her out, while the nurse was pushing very hard on my friend's stomach. Finally another doctor came in and was able to get the baby out from being stuck.

The doctor rushed the baby to the nurse and the other doctor, but it seemed to be in slow motion when you saw how limp she was, and especially when you could tell she was not breathing. My friend and her husband were panicked and inshock. They wanted answers immediately. Nothing I said calmed them down until I told them that when I came here to the hospital I brought angels with me, and because of those angels her and her baby were going to be safe. Immediately my friend started to do calming breaths, and in seconds the baby started to cry. It was the most beautiful sound. It was as if you felt God's smile down on this family. He shined His sweet light down on them, just for that moment of belief that they were in God's hands.

My friend's baby was a wopping 11pounds 9.8 ounces, 22 inches long. What had happened was her doctor was just measuring her fundus, and not doing an ultrasound. The baby was only measuring at 8lbs. Her body was too big, pretty much, for a natural birth. Her shoulders got stuck. She may have some problems for most of her life, because during the delivery her muscles in her shoulder was stretched beyond where they should have been. She's able to move her hands, but not that arm. But one really awesome thing about babies, is that they can rise up from any problem, especially when they have their own angels.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

So, I'm not doing too good on my Lent season and my goals. Not too good at all. My heart just doesn't seem to be in it right now, I guess. Whether it be selfish reasons or just mixed up in my heart, I don' t know exactly. I can't even tell you where I am in my walk. I feel I just took a vacation or something. One issue that has definitely been throwing me off are my dreams. I'm finding myself too overwhelmed by them and then just too busy to work them out.

My wonderful friend had taught me how to go through my dreams and see how God is speaking through them to me, but it's just so difficult at times to even bring up some of these dreams. It seems like each one I've been having is just so much, before I even go through it.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

My first day of Lent

So I decided due to many circumstances that today would be the beginning of my 40 days into beginning good habits and kicking bad habits. To stop smoking and to stop arguing with God, and to write a prayer in my journal every night, to pray with Mikah and read with him the bible for 15 minutes a day. Wow, that seems like a lot, but over the next couple of days I'm going to begin one extra thing. Tomorrow is Mikah and his Lent, and the time and heart he desires to dedicate to God. He understood that many people gave things up for God.

His first choice was the Playstation 2. Then he changed his mind because it would be hard and he didn't want to fail God. I told him he wouldn't by doing that, but either way what he chose was just some random thing, and it should take some prayer before he made his choice of how he could make room for God in his life. We both talked and decided that we, together, would read out of the bible everyday and pray during this time. I'm thrilled to be a witness to my son's first Lent season. I really feel we both will learn a lot from each other.

Today I went smoke free, even when my boss didn't. Yes I was moody, but I feel that was a combination of the day, I'm sick, my job has gotten pretty full, and many other things that has entered into my life crazily. Hey, if anyone wants to sponsor me a goal, and do something special for me when I reach it that would be cool.

Right now my throat is very swollen and I can't swollow very well. I can't talk very good either. yucky.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


So tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and the first day of Lent. I must be honest I have been dreading this for quite some time now. The two things I feel god has asked me to give up are both extremely difficult, but also good things to give up. It's going to be extremely challenging and yet uplifting. So now I need to find something good to fill in these gaps. Hopefully this will make the transition somewhat easier.

Much heaviness on my heart, any prayers would be wonderful. Thanks.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


So I went to the karaoke bar last Monday. I didn't really feel up to it, from being sick, but it happened in a way I needed to go. This is how it went down: Scott normally has been the main babysitter for karaoke night. His choice, to avoid babysitting and what not. Well, it happened that he had to work, so I was pretty much out of a babysitter. I was kind of bummed, but still okay with not going. Then I felt an urge to go.....okay, so I decided to pray that if I needed to go someone would offer to watch the kids, but I wouldn't seek just because of how I felt. So about35 minutes after I prayed that, my friend asks me about if I had a babysitter before we hung up. Okay... so of course I was honest and said no, and she said she would ask her husband if he felt up to it.

He was up to it, so I guess I was going to the karaoke bar. I was thinking about leaving early, just because I was tired and wasn't able to sing as much. I didn't have much of an idea of what I was going to sing anyways, so I let the karaoke guy pick it out for me. He chose Alicia Keys for what I was planning for my last song before I left. After I was done, these two ladies from the bar came up to me and was asking me non-stop about my singing....if I do it professionally or took lessons, or do anything outside of karaoke. I was honest, I said no, all I do is karaoke due to my children. They both were taken aback and asked if I would be interested, if I would ever consider singing for a live band in a club or something......YEAH! We exchanged contact info, and talked some more.

So we will see what the wind blows in.You never know what God has in store. And when it comes to a big decision like that I only want what he has in mind. So we'll see, I'll let you know.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

blah blah blah...hee hee

I didn't end up having the prayer night. I needed to be with a friend that was going through some hard times and by the time I got home, I hit the couch and was gone. I spent hours on the place, actually spent all day preparing it. I spent about seven days to plan it. And three hours to kind of clean it up. And I was totally okay with that. I am so grateful for her friendship and trust in me to call me when she needs me to. She's one of my best friends and I met her through working at Michael's .

It was good to hear someone's thoughts about how the place looked though. It was transformed into a sanctuary. Everything was clean, it was quiet, candles and incense, prayer stations. It was awesome. What's even more awesome is that it'll be easy to set up again because I kept all of it organized in a folder, so that the major things to do would be to clean.

So Kristen Rudd jumped at my mind the other day when I found out my picture was in this month's Advocate. How I wish she would have been the one to take my picture. I mis that woman.

I met this 13 year old girl at karaoke the other night. It was a lot of fun to hang out with her. She reminded me of me, at least the good side of me when I was in high school. I hope to see her soon, we had a lot in common and just had a lot of good fun. She was extremely grateful to have someone to hang out with because her mom is dating the karaoke guy and she normally gets bored.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Night of Prayer

Saturday we are having another prayer session. It's called God's Whispers in the Night. It will begin at 7pm and end at 10am the next morning. Last time I did a 24 hour time of non-stop prayer. This time I'm not called to go that long, but to experience the night and silence....that was the most precious time last time. Any prayers you want us to pray email me at kiwijasmyn(at)yahoo(dot)com .

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Things have been going good around here. Nothing too crazy. Not really much to talk about. I just felt it was time to blog.

I've been writing my own songs lately. That has been a lot of fun. I'm hoping to write a new song every week, or at least begin to write one. I want to write about so many things in my songs, but am struggling to find some inspiration. I want my music to have God in the center even if the song isn't about God. So far all my songs are though. There are two that I really like so far. they are coming along very well. I've been feeling really led lately that God wants me to use my voice for Him. Not only for karaoke. So here I am, singing away. I need to find someone who can help me train my voice to its full potential. I want to also get something to record my voice so I can hear it in another way. Maybe Scott could use his audio program to make my music background ;) (hint hint)

We will see what comes forward. I have a feeling it'll be fun.