Who's life am I living?

All honesty out...I get really selfish. Selfish with my time, my freedom, my money, and my relationships. Also when I get upset I tend to feel vengeful....not cool. I don't always love my neighbor and I don't always help the obvious, let alone the less obvious. I make up excuses and tend to really suck at being a friend, wife, mother, daughter, and sister. I can be greedy and very unnecessarily needy. Of course technically it's my life, so I can be however I want, right?


Yeah, right.....like God would ever allow me to be at peace in His love if I did. When I made the choice of accepting His love and His freedom, I accepted the fact that I needed to change and try to become the person He needs me to be. I can be all apathetic about the above issues, but you want to know what happened in the past when I did? I was angry, I was extremely depressed, I never felt close to God at all, and I felt very alone and dirty. Doesn't sound good, does it? No, I didn't think so either.

So how do you deal with these overly repeated problems? You confess them to God, and if you don't have the will power and control to put and end to it, ask faithfully for His help in it. Will you stumble.....possibly, but allow God to catch you before you fall back into that pit. Keep looking towards Him. Wake up and make that choice to become a better servant to Him. When I was lifted to Christ, I had to leave my dead behind....a huge part of that was myself and my life style. I GAVE my life to Christ willingly, and everyday I need to make that choice to accept that. Yes, I'm human and and I make sucky decisions and get lazy, I'm not Christ. I can't be perfect, but I can try my all in making the wrong right by giving it to God, by trusting His guidance and His promises. The one way I get out of my messy moods and habits is I pray my guts out. I pray and pray and pray. Eventually I am refreshed in Him and then if I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness from someone, then I do it and make ammends, then move forward.

Also rely on your church, the people you are close to. I always make a point to discuss my struggles with someone and pray about it with someone. If you don't have this.....please feel free to confide in me. I know that some places aren't easy to find these kind of relationships unfortunately. I have made another blog just for prayer requests. I would love to pray for you. You can post secretly or openly, your decision. You can post those in the comments here. This is where we all can just pray for each other. I will place mine in the posts. Either way here I am praying for you anyways.

My recent posts aren't by my leading. I actually try to blog about other things, but I guess those things aren't what needs to be said. Here's to Lent and no more arguing with God....cheers!