Seeking Jesus In My Struggle

Today I'm struggling with a lot of my human flaws.....my biggest in patience and loving my neighbor. I deal with a lot of different things at work. Most of the people I work with do a great variety of things I totally don't agree with anymore since I have come to Christ, but have took part in my past. Conversations are filled with things that are accepted by culture and not Christ. It's very hard not to speak my mind, but I feel God doesn't want me there to place conviction on people. Granted if asked I am to be honest about my feelings, but that hasn't been required too many times. Right now I am to pray and pray and pray, as well as to befriend anyone possible by just being myself with Christ at the center. Sometimes I just feel so lost at how just doing that is doing God's work, but when I pray about it, I realize that God works through that. I guess I also forget that God was working there anyways.

So where do I go and what do I do when I feel discouraged and stranded? Honestly first I stress, but in time God's voice is tugging at my heart saying to calm myself and to give my worries to Him and to trust Him in what He desires. To trust that even though what I may be doing seems so little, its big enough and important for God to want to guide it and be in it. All I have is this one body. A brain that is distracting, two hands that fumble, two legs and feet that trip, and a mouth that doesn't realize what comes out of it. It amazes me that God looks at me like a precious jewel that when He shines His awesome light, it prisms off to all around me. I feel rusty today though....

There's a person at work I can't stand to work with. Its so hard for me to see any good in this person, and believe me, I try. I'm so confused as to why God wants me to be in relationship with this person. And then I feel like even more crud....this is my "neighbor" . I almost feel like Jonah not wanting to go to Ninevah.

I'm reaching out to His mercy and compassion today. I'm reaching out and striving to learn it. Without this, I feel I will fail in something He needs me to do, but right now it seems as though acquiring it may be tough.