just breathing reality

I've been having a hard ime trying to blog lately. I've tried to put my thoughts out, but haven't brought myself totally comfortable with it....or at least what I tried to say.

Today I've found myself extremely selfish and even over reacting in my troubles. God has defintely opened my eyes and heart in prayer group tonight. I'm not saying my problems aren't in need of prayer or aren't anything to be concerned with, but tonight I prayed for a little boy Asa's age that is extremely ill. It broke my heart. It feels....heck I don't even know how to describe how this feels. I came into prayer tonight only troubled with my own problems, but after praying for the others, I realized my own aren't as big as they seem.

Here recently, while praying, God has granted me visions that seem so real. And after doing so I feel led to share with those involved. Sometimes they are very encouraging and filled with hope and joy, sometimes it sends out a message of warning..or shall I say awareness. I'm very thankful for this, but at the same time it seems so surreal to me. Its so new and so awesome, as well as visual. I guess my fear of them are that I might interpret them wrong or give a misleading message or something. I've prayed against this.

So tonight I have another one...it's more of a realization of our connection with people. I've felt as if our relationships through the internet-only are like a flower on a vine. God is the root and we are the center of the flower...where the pollen is. The pollen flows with the wind landing wherever it is meant to go. Where it lands the relationship is formed. Eventually new plants will form and the vine we are on grows into the others, but this vine is so strong it would take a lot of neglect for it to splinter off. Even with a splinter though, there is a connection. God isn't only the root though....He is everything that feeds us and wraps us together in nourishment. Then I get a view from afar, and there's an enormous field of flowers vining together. Takes my breath away.

I just want to tell all of you how much I appreciate you, I am hopeful for those we haven't met, that it will happen...and those we have, we'll meet again soon. Flow with the wind of God my friends. Peace be with you on your journeys.