Thursday, July 20, 2006

Emotional=Hopeful=Refreshed

I'm not too sure what I'm going to say or how, but all day long I've been feeling the need to post about something......so here we go: SOMETHING

I'm feeling a tad bit emotionally tired. I felt this way BEFORE I decided to watch some chic flick movies. Those actually really helped me let it all out. I hate crying, I always have. It makes me feel like a really horrible person, or stupid, or weak. I honestly don't really remember how this got imprinted into me, but it is. One thing I realize is that I bottle things up when I should just let it go. I'm actually better at this than I use to be, but there's still a lot of work to be done. I don't hold in anger....that's one thing..the first thing I've learned to release. But sometimes it's that deep sadness from the absolute unknown that grips me. It's frustrating, though, especially when you don't want to feel like that. When you just want that feeling of joy. The movies really helped me though. I was able to just relax and enjoy them, but also appreciate the kind of stories they told. Those stories that just pierce you and make you really think about the kind of person you are, and the kind you want to be. I'm not talking like: I want to be a superstar. I'm talking about having more patience, being kind and patient even when you just don't feel like it, and keeping your nerve when its time to do the right thing.

I desire and will always desire to become a better person. I'm thankful there's always room for improvement.

Yes, I'm writing while I'm in an emotional state, and yes I'm talking about it. Some may not like it or think it's right, but there are those who may read it and finally feel that sensation that they are not alone, and get some sense of comfort in just knowing that. But dear reader please know this, it's normally after I write this and release it, that it's gone from me, and I am refreshed. I pray it'll be the same for you after you are done reading.

1 comment:

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