Friday, February 25, 2005

crazy moods and some scrambled thoughts

Tonite's been quite a swing dance with moods. Set aside my reaction with the kids, my inside is just exploding. Nothing bad, just feel confused about a lot of things. I feel like my heart is pulling me somewhere that seems out of reach. I've been trying to pray about it all, but I feel even more confused about it all right after. A leap of faith is needed, and that doesn't necessarily physically changing directions, but was is essential is to change my focus. Since we've found out about Scott's sis and everything it seems as though I've strayed off the path I was heading on and its really getting to me. I'm glad God never gives up on me, and knows what buttons to push on me. But I'm still confused on what to do and how. No matter the location I need to get involved with a community, regularly. But what? And how? Why is it the more I search for peace the more chaos tkes over? Can a peaceful life be lived fully for God? Is this possible as we are on this earth? I am who I am, I've been where I've been, I've seen what I've seen and believed what I believed. That cannot be changed and shouldn't ever be in consideration...........but I can choose not to change, but adapt into His greatness.

What will that look like?

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