Friday, March 30, 2007
A Prayer Request
Hey guys, I'm blogging because I need some prayer for a family. They are pretty much being kicked out of their apartment, because the owners just realized they could make more money in that area, so they raised the rent almost $250.00 a month. My friend just had a baby, and she also has a 3 year old, and her husband works like crazy in overtime to bring in what he can. They were approved for a home, which is actually very close to ours, but they are out $1400.00. What I want prayers for is that if they are to move there, then God will provide the money. If not then I pray that they will be able to find something else very soon and come up with the money then as well. I personally pray they will be closer so I can help out better, but maybe that is selfish, cause she's like my adopted sister. My friend's name is Mary, her husband is Mike. And just because it's already set up and I know God works in various ways, if it is on your heart to donate, then please go to my web page and go to the donation button through paypal. Thank you for all of your prayers and also please pray that Mary's family will truly become to know and love the Jesus we know. Thank you.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
What the....
I've been on a relentless struggle with God lately. I just keep going on and on inside and start this war inside my heart and then begin even more struggles. I'm frustrated, as well as aggravated about it all. I stand out, and i trust that He will deliver and then what I end up getting is a ball of confusion and I just don't know how to take that. Now I have been told that God never delivers confusion......I really am beginning to differ. The reason for is the way He speaks to me. It's like a puzzle that I have to figure out. There's a lesson in that and I am okay with that ONCE the lesson is learned, but damn it, sometimes I just want a straight forward answer.
We all sin and carry some with us for all of our lives. I sin. I hate it but then again i still do it. I hate where my thoughts go. I hate my discontent when I see His blessings all around me. I hate that I keep asking Him for more and more, and feel as though I do nothing in return. I just want to be a child of God who stands for Him and everything He believes in. But where are these lines. Where are they drawn out? The Bible. That can be a ball of confusion in itself.
I want to seek the adventure in God. I desire to thoroughly trust Him to take care of us more and more. I long for that trust that if I jump He will catch us. On top of that I want to go into it all knowing this is what He wants from us.....from me. Why all of this passion for nothing? Why all of this energy to just get restless. Why not give it when I need it and can actually DO it?
Many questions of my venting, I know, but I need to get it out. I need to let it out. I desire so much, but not for myself. I look at what it is that I want to do and I can't even figure out why in the world I would want to do such things other than this is God's calling for me. But is it? If it is why isn't it happening?
I'm seeking for my path, and not know where to find it. i know it's being laid before me, but there are so many factors in it where God needs to lay His wonderous hands in it. Maybe I'm just venting at the moment and tomorrow I will feel different, but here I am. Right now. I don't wish any discouragement on anyone, I just need others to know the place I am at the moment. Thank you for listening.
We all sin and carry some with us for all of our lives. I sin. I hate it but then again i still do it. I hate where my thoughts go. I hate my discontent when I see His blessings all around me. I hate that I keep asking Him for more and more, and feel as though I do nothing in return. I just want to be a child of God who stands for Him and everything He believes in. But where are these lines. Where are they drawn out? The Bible. That can be a ball of confusion in itself.
I want to seek the adventure in God. I desire to thoroughly trust Him to take care of us more and more. I long for that trust that if I jump He will catch us. On top of that I want to go into it all knowing this is what He wants from us.....from me. Why all of this passion for nothing? Why all of this energy to just get restless. Why not give it when I need it and can actually DO it?
Many questions of my venting, I know, but I need to get it out. I need to let it out. I desire so much, but not for myself. I look at what it is that I want to do and I can't even figure out why in the world I would want to do such things other than this is God's calling for me. But is it? If it is why isn't it happening?
I'm seeking for my path, and not know where to find it. i know it's being laid before me, but there are so many factors in it where God needs to lay His wonderous hands in it. Maybe I'm just venting at the moment and tomorrow I will feel different, but here I am. Right now. I don't wish any discouragement on anyone, I just need others to know the place I am at the moment. Thank you for listening.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
My Two Weeks Worth
Wow, the last couple of weeks have been slammed with me. I'm exhausted, and yet it looks like events will keep coming. So let's start with what happened first, shall we?
All of my kids, one right after the other got sick with the flu. I had to stay home from work for almost a whole week to take care of them. Then Scott got sick. After a week of puny kids, I had to rush plan a baby shower for my wonderful friend Mary. I was nervous, and tense, but I was finally able to chill out and enjoy it. It went so good, she only needed to get a couple of things afterwards, and she was able to get those with the gift card given to her! God defintely showered her. She gave away all of her baby stuff, so she needed this. Plus she had a lot of fun. It was good. And that night she came to church and shared a big part of her story with us, or at least her recent story. She's been coming to church whenever she can, which isn't often, and to see her able to open up like that was awesome.
Next was the kids' spring break, which I am so dang proud of Scott for being awesome durin that whole time. Three kids all day long is hard when you aren't use to it! Because of spring break, my kids got to go with me to karaoke night! It was awesome, they had fun, but they said the place was too loud. I guess when they can't hear their own screaming, its no fun....oooooookay! They did have fun though. I painted their faces, Kiara made a friend, and I ended up painting her face too! Kiara sang twinkle twinkle little star, Mikah sang You spin me right round, and I sang Sweet child of mine to them. It was fun and tiring. I was glad they wanted to go home early :)
Also during the whole week of spring break, Mikah had to conduct a science experiement. We didn't do anything fancy, but it was still very neat. We put a variety of plant and veggies in food coloring and water for 3 days to watch where the water goes into the plant. He thought it was awesome.
Let's see, what else......oh yeah, we did a henna party at Tipperary Inn on St. Paddy's Day. That was awesome. Granted there were many extremely odd people there, but what else are to expect in that enviroment? My friend Jenny from church is going to St. Augustine's in April for a year. I'm normally broke, so I decided to give her all of the profit from the henna party. It was cool though. I got exactly what I wanted, to hang out at God's market place, He provided the people, I brought henna and conversation. I got to hang out all day with a variety of people, do art/henna on people, and enjoy the party as well. I praise God for it all, and am glad that He had His hands in it.
So the Sunday after the henna party, I watched my friend's child while she went to the hospital. Her grandmother, who raised her, is in the hospital, and it doesn't look good. So I did what I do naturally for others: I prayed my guts out. I prayed for God's will as well as for Him to be patient on calling her home. My friend was schedule for her labor induction the following day. On top of that her family will be on her shoulders when her grandmother passes, not to forget about the devastation it will be for my friend. God is good, and is still being patient!
The next day I took my friend to the hospital for preparation of the induction. The baby's heart rate kept beating high, and had the nurses on edge. After a while of not coming down, the nurses called the doctor in and they were discussing a c-section. She didn't want to do this for many reasons, but would if it meant the well being. Luckily she didn't have to go through one, but the next showed she probably should have.
Everything was going good, my friend had her epideral, the contractions were felt, but tolerable. She dialated fast to a ten, and was pushing. And pushing. And pushing. The head started to deliver, but something was wrwong. You could tell it in the doctor's voice. She kept trying to pull the baby out, but was unable. She started to sound panicky, and yelled for someone to go get another doctor and fast. She kept trying to pull her out, while the nurse was pushing very hard on my friend's stomach. Finally another doctor came in and was able to get the baby out from being stuck.
The doctor rushed the baby to the nurse and the other doctor, but it seemed to be in slow motion when you saw how limp she was, and especially when you could tell she was not breathing. My friend and her husband were panicked and inshock. They wanted answers immediately. Nothing I said calmed them down until I told them that when I came here to the hospital I brought angels with me, and because of those angels her and her baby were going to be safe. Immediately my friend started to do calming breaths, and in seconds the baby started to cry. It was the most beautiful sound. It was as if you felt God's smile down on this family. He shined His sweet light down on them, just for that moment of belief that they were in God's hands.
My friend's baby was a wopping 11pounds 9.8 ounces, 22 inches long. What had happened was her doctor was just measuring her fundus, and not doing an ultrasound. The baby was only measuring at 8lbs. Her body was too big, pretty much, for a natural birth. Her shoulders got stuck. She may have some problems for most of her life, because during the delivery her muscles in her shoulder was stretched beyond where they should have been. She's able to move her hands, but not that arm. But one really awesome thing about babies, is that they can rise up from any problem, especially when they have their own angels.
All of my kids, one right after the other got sick with the flu. I had to stay home from work for almost a whole week to take care of them. Then Scott got sick. After a week of puny kids, I had to rush plan a baby shower for my wonderful friend Mary. I was nervous, and tense, but I was finally able to chill out and enjoy it. It went so good, she only needed to get a couple of things afterwards, and she was able to get those with the gift card given to her! God defintely showered her. She gave away all of her baby stuff, so she needed this. Plus she had a lot of fun. It was good. And that night she came to church and shared a big part of her story with us, or at least her recent story. She's been coming to church whenever she can, which isn't often, and to see her able to open up like that was awesome.
Next was the kids' spring break, which I am so dang proud of Scott for being awesome durin that whole time. Three kids all day long is hard when you aren't use to it! Because of spring break, my kids got to go with me to karaoke night! It was awesome, they had fun, but they said the place was too loud. I guess when they can't hear their own screaming, its no fun....oooooookay! They did have fun though. I painted their faces, Kiara made a friend, and I ended up painting her face too! Kiara sang twinkle twinkle little star, Mikah sang You spin me right round, and I sang Sweet child of mine to them. It was fun and tiring. I was glad they wanted to go home early :)
Also during the whole week of spring break, Mikah had to conduct a science experiement. We didn't do anything fancy, but it was still very neat. We put a variety of plant and veggies in food coloring and water for 3 days to watch where the water goes into the plant. He thought it was awesome.
Let's see, what else......oh yeah, we did a henna party at Tipperary Inn on St. Paddy's Day. That was awesome. Granted there were many extremely odd people there, but what else are to expect in that enviroment? My friend Jenny from church is going to St. Augustine's in April for a year. I'm normally broke, so I decided to give her all of the profit from the henna party. It was cool though. I got exactly what I wanted, to hang out at God's market place, He provided the people, I brought henna and conversation. I got to hang out all day with a variety of people, do art/henna on people, and enjoy the party as well. I praise God for it all, and am glad that He had His hands in it.
So the Sunday after the henna party, I watched my friend's child while she went to the hospital. Her grandmother, who raised her, is in the hospital, and it doesn't look good. So I did what I do naturally for others: I prayed my guts out. I prayed for God's will as well as for Him to be patient on calling her home. My friend was schedule for her labor induction the following day. On top of that her family will be on her shoulders when her grandmother passes, not to forget about the devastation it will be for my friend. God is good, and is still being patient!
The next day I took my friend to the hospital for preparation of the induction. The baby's heart rate kept beating high, and had the nurses on edge. After a while of not coming down, the nurses called the doctor in and they were discussing a c-section. She didn't want to do this for many reasons, but would if it meant the well being. Luckily she didn't have to go through one, but the next showed she probably should have.
Everything was going good, my friend had her epideral, the contractions were felt, but tolerable. She dialated fast to a ten, and was pushing. And pushing. And pushing. The head started to deliver, but something was wrwong. You could tell it in the doctor's voice. She kept trying to pull the baby out, but was unable. She started to sound panicky, and yelled for someone to go get another doctor and fast. She kept trying to pull her out, while the nurse was pushing very hard on my friend's stomach. Finally another doctor came in and was able to get the baby out from being stuck.
The doctor rushed the baby to the nurse and the other doctor, but it seemed to be in slow motion when you saw how limp she was, and especially when you could tell she was not breathing. My friend and her husband were panicked and inshock. They wanted answers immediately. Nothing I said calmed them down until I told them that when I came here to the hospital I brought angels with me, and because of those angels her and her baby were going to be safe. Immediately my friend started to do calming breaths, and in seconds the baby started to cry. It was the most beautiful sound. It was as if you felt God's smile down on this family. He shined His sweet light down on them, just for that moment of belief that they were in God's hands.
My friend's baby was a wopping 11pounds 9.8 ounces, 22 inches long. What had happened was her doctor was just measuring her fundus, and not doing an ultrasound. The baby was only measuring at 8lbs. Her body was too big, pretty much, for a natural birth. Her shoulders got stuck. She may have some problems for most of her life, because during the delivery her muscles in her shoulder was stretched beyond where they should have been. She's able to move her hands, but not that arm. But one really awesome thing about babies, is that they can rise up from any problem, especially when they have their own angels.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
So, I'm not doing too good on my Lent season and my goals. Not too good at all. My heart just doesn't seem to be in it right now, I guess. Whether it be selfish reasons or just mixed up in my heart, I don' t know exactly. I can't even tell you where I am in my walk. I feel I just took a vacation or something. One issue that has definitely been throwing me off are my dreams. I'm finding myself too overwhelmed by them and then just too busy to work them out.
My wonderful friend had taught me how to go through my dreams and see how God is speaking through them to me, but it's just so difficult at times to even bring up some of these dreams. It seems like each one I've been having is just so much, before I even go through it.
My wonderful friend had taught me how to go through my dreams and see how God is speaking through them to me, but it's just so difficult at times to even bring up some of these dreams. It seems like each one I've been having is just so much, before I even go through it.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Expression of Faith from North Umbria Community
Lord, You have always given
bread for the coming day;
and though I am poor,
today I believe.
Lord, You have always given
strength for the coming day;
and though I am weak,
today I believe.
Lord, You have always given
peace for the coming day;
and though of anxious heart,
today I believe.
Lord, You have always kept
me safe in trials;
and now, tried as I am,
today I believe.
Lord, You have always spoken
when time was ripe;
and though you be silent now,
today I believe.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
My first day of Lent
So I decided due to many circumstances that today would be the beginning of my 40 days into beginning good habits and kicking bad habits. To stop smoking and to stop arguing with God, and to write a prayer in my journal every night, to pray with Mikah and read with him the bible for 15 minutes a day. Wow, that seems like a lot, but over the next couple of days I'm going to begin one extra thing. Tomorrow is Mikah and his Lent, and the time and heart he desires to dedicate to God. He understood that many people gave things up for God.
His first choice was the Playstation 2. Then he changed his mind because it would be hard and he didn't want to fail God. I told him he wouldn't by doing that, but either way what he chose was just some random thing, and it should take some prayer before he made his choice of how he could make room for God in his life. We both talked and decided that we, together, would read out of the bible everyday and pray during this time. I'm thrilled to be a witness to my son's first Lent season. I really feel we both will learn a lot from each other.
Today I went smoke free, even when my boss didn't. Yes I was moody, but I feel that was a combination of the day, I'm sick, my job has gotten pretty full, and many other things that has entered into my life crazily. Hey, if anyone wants to sponsor me a goal, and do something special for me when I reach it that would be cool.
Right now my throat is very swollen and I can't swollow very well. I can't talk very good either. yucky.
His first choice was the Playstation 2. Then he changed his mind because it would be hard and he didn't want to fail God. I told him he wouldn't by doing that, but either way what he chose was just some random thing, and it should take some prayer before he made his choice of how he could make room for God in his life. We both talked and decided that we, together, would read out of the bible everyday and pray during this time. I'm thrilled to be a witness to my son's first Lent season. I really feel we both will learn a lot from each other.
Today I went smoke free, even when my boss didn't. Yes I was moody, but I feel that was a combination of the day, I'm sick, my job has gotten pretty full, and many other things that has entered into my life crazily. Hey, if anyone wants to sponsor me a goal, and do something special for me when I reach it that would be cool.
Right now my throat is very swollen and I can't swollow very well. I can't talk very good either. yucky.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Lent
So tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and the first day of Lent. I must be honest I have been dreading this for quite some time now. The two things I feel god has asked me to give up are both extremely difficult, but also good things to give up. It's going to be extremely challenging and yet uplifting. So now I need to find something good to fill in these gaps. Hopefully this will make the transition somewhat easier.
Much heaviness on my heart, any prayers would be wonderful. Thanks.
Much heaviness on my heart, any prayers would be wonderful. Thanks.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Interesting......
So I went to the karaoke bar last Monday. I didn't really feel up to it, from being sick, but it happened in a way I needed to go. This is how it went down: Scott normally has been the main babysitter for karaoke night. His choice, to avoid babysitting and what not. Well, it happened that he had to work, so I was pretty much out of a babysitter. I was kind of bummed, but still okay with not going. Then I felt an urge to go.....okay, so I decided to pray that if I needed to go someone would offer to watch the kids, but I wouldn't seek just because of how I felt. So about35 minutes after I prayed that, my friend asks me about if I had a babysitter before we hung up. Okay... so of course I was honest and said no, and she said she would ask her husband if he felt up to it.
He was up to it, so I guess I was going to the karaoke bar. I was thinking about leaving early, just because I was tired and wasn't able to sing as much. I didn't have much of an idea of what I was going to sing anyways, so I let the karaoke guy pick it out for me. He chose Alicia Keys for what I was planning for my last song before I left. After I was done, these two ladies from the bar came up to me and was asking me non-stop about my singing....if I do it professionally or took lessons, or do anything outside of karaoke. I was honest, I said no, all I do is karaoke due to my children. They both were taken aback and asked if I would be interested, if I would ever consider singing for a live band in a club or something......YEAH! We exchanged contact info, and talked some more.
So we will see what the wind blows in.You never know what God has in store. And when it comes to a big decision like that I only want what he has in mind. So we'll see, I'll let you know.
He was up to it, so I guess I was going to the karaoke bar. I was thinking about leaving early, just because I was tired and wasn't able to sing as much. I didn't have much of an idea of what I was going to sing anyways, so I let the karaoke guy pick it out for me. He chose Alicia Keys for what I was planning for my last song before I left. After I was done, these two ladies from the bar came up to me and was asking me non-stop about my singing....if I do it professionally or took lessons, or do anything outside of karaoke. I was honest, I said no, all I do is karaoke due to my children. They both were taken aback and asked if I would be interested, if I would ever consider singing for a live band in a club or something......YEAH! We exchanged contact info, and talked some more.
So we will see what the wind blows in.You never know what God has in store. And when it comes to a big decision like that I only want what he has in mind. So we'll see, I'll let you know.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
blah blah blah...hee hee
I didn't end up having the prayer night. I needed to be with a friend that was going through some hard times and by the time I got home, I hit the couch and was gone. I spent hours on the place, actually spent all day preparing it. I spent about seven days to plan it. And three hours to kind of clean it up. And I was totally okay with that. I am so grateful for her friendship and trust in me to call me when she needs me to. She's one of my best friends and I met her through working at Michael's .
It was good to hear someone's thoughts about how the place looked though. It was transformed into a sanctuary. Everything was clean, it was quiet, candles and incense, prayer stations. It was awesome. What's even more awesome is that it'll be easy to set up again because I kept all of it organized in a folder, so that the major things to do would be to clean.
So Kristen Rudd jumped at my mind the other day when I found out my picture was in this month's Advocate. How I wish she would have been the one to take my picture. I mis that woman.
I met this 13 year old girl at karaoke the other night. It was a lot of fun to hang out with her. She reminded me of me, at least the good side of me when I was in high school. I hope to see her soon, we had a lot in common and just had a lot of good fun. She was extremely grateful to have someone to hang out with because her mom is dating the karaoke guy and she normally gets bored.
It was good to hear someone's thoughts about how the place looked though. It was transformed into a sanctuary. Everything was clean, it was quiet, candles and incense, prayer stations. It was awesome. What's even more awesome is that it'll be easy to set up again because I kept all of it organized in a folder, so that the major things to do would be to clean.
So Kristen Rudd jumped at my mind the other day when I found out my picture was in this month's Advocate. How I wish she would have been the one to take my picture. I mis that woman.
I met this 13 year old girl at karaoke the other night. It was a lot of fun to hang out with her. She reminded me of me, at least the good side of me when I was in high school. I hope to see her soon, we had a lot in common and just had a lot of good fun. She was extremely grateful to have someone to hang out with because her mom is dating the karaoke guy and she normally gets bored.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Night of Prayer
Saturday we are having another prayer session. It's called God's Whispers in the Night. It will begin at 7pm and end at 10am the next morning. Last time I did a 24 hour time of non-stop prayer. This time I'm not called to go that long, but to experience the night and silence....that was the most precious time last time. Any prayers you want us to pray email me at kiwijasmyn(at)yahoo(dot)com .
Thursday, January 11, 2007
hey
Things have been going good around here. Nothing too crazy. Not really much to talk about. I just felt it was time to blog.
I've been writing my own songs lately. That has been a lot of fun. I'm hoping to write a new song every week, or at least begin to write one. I want to write about so many things in my songs, but am struggling to find some inspiration. I want my music to have God in the center even if the song isn't about God. So far all my songs are though. There are two that I really like so far. they are coming along very well. I've been feeling really led lately that God wants me to use my voice for Him. Not only for karaoke. So here I am, singing away. I need to find someone who can help me train my voice to its full potential. I want to also get something to record my voice so I can hear it in another way. Maybe Scott could use his audio program to make my music background ;) (hint hint)
We will see what comes forward. I have a feeling it'll be fun.
I've been writing my own songs lately. That has been a lot of fun. I'm hoping to write a new song every week, or at least begin to write one. I want to write about so many things in my songs, but am struggling to find some inspiration. I want my music to have God in the center even if the song isn't about God. So far all my songs are though. There are two that I really like so far. they are coming along very well. I've been feeling really led lately that God wants me to use my voice for Him. Not only for karaoke. So here I am, singing away. I need to find someone who can help me train my voice to its full potential. I want to also get something to record my voice so I can hear it in another way. Maybe Scott could use his audio program to make my music background ;) (hint hint)
We will see what comes forward. I have a feeling it'll be fun.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Our Glorious Texan Christmas
I'm a slacker, I know, but hey at least here I am blogging again. I definitely want to share our Christmas with everyone. It was soooo good. It was just the Miller Fam. We had let the kids open up they're presents shortly after their break from school started so that they would have exciting new things to keep them busy. Well, Christmas Eve, after the kids were in bed, Scotty set up all of their toys in the living room, so that when they woke up it looked like a big toyland. It was awesome.
We ate tacos for supper....I know, I know, but hey it was fabulous for us! Scott's a veggie guy, and the kids are just picky....this was the one meal ALL of us really enjoyed. It really was the best meal for us. We did this for Christmas and Thanksgiving last year. This is just how we do it :)
We played video games with the kids, sang Christmas hymns and carols. We also had our very first fire in our fire place! This was perfect! I've wanted this for awhile now.
Scott and I sat by the fireplace with Asa and just talked for awhile...it was really nice.
Lastly, I need to tell you about my Christmas present from God. Seriously. Okay, I went outside for a little bit and looked up at the sky to only see two stars and the moon. I got really bummed and just said aloud, "Oh, God I just want to see the stars" This is one of the biggest things I hate about Dallas. I love Dallas, but dang it, I can't function well without stars.
I came back inside and went out again later, and there just above our house and the neighbors' was a big opening in the sky and a bunch of stars shining through! I also got to see Orion, my favorite constellation! This was a huge treat for me. I was so excited I went inside and told Scott he needed to come out and see my present from God. What's so amazing about this is that ever since I have lived here I have never seen many stars in the sky. Maybe some scattered few and far between, but not like this. Back in Indiana, they were everywhere. It always gave me that big wonderous awe feeling with God. i just feel close to Him in that feeling.
The only bummer in our holiday was that Asa was running a really high temp of 104 for two days and I couldn't break his temp, so I had to take him into ER for some antibiotics and allergy medicine. Found out he had a start of an infection and asthma. He's better now...or at least getting there.
Oh yeah, my power tools and easel rock!
We ate tacos for supper....I know, I know, but hey it was fabulous for us! Scott's a veggie guy, and the kids are just picky....this was the one meal ALL of us really enjoyed. It really was the best meal for us. We did this for Christmas and Thanksgiving last year. This is just how we do it :)
We played video games with the kids, sang Christmas hymns and carols. We also had our very first fire in our fire place! This was perfect! I've wanted this for awhile now.
Scott and I sat by the fireplace with Asa and just talked for awhile...it was really nice.
Lastly, I need to tell you about my Christmas present from God. Seriously. Okay, I went outside for a little bit and looked up at the sky to only see two stars and the moon. I got really bummed and just said aloud, "Oh, God I just want to see the stars" This is one of the biggest things I hate about Dallas. I love Dallas, but dang it, I can't function well without stars.
I came back inside and went out again later, and there just above our house and the neighbors' was a big opening in the sky and a bunch of stars shining through! I also got to see Orion, my favorite constellation! This was a huge treat for me. I was so excited I went inside and told Scott he needed to come out and see my present from God. What's so amazing about this is that ever since I have lived here I have never seen many stars in the sky. Maybe some scattered few and far between, but not like this. Back in Indiana, they were everywhere. It always gave me that big wonderous awe feeling with God. i just feel close to Him in that feeling.
The only bummer in our holiday was that Asa was running a really high temp of 104 for two days and I couldn't break his temp, so I had to take him into ER for some antibiotics and allergy medicine. Found out he had a start of an infection and asthma. He's better now...or at least getting there.
Oh yeah, my power tools and easel rock!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
What's up
Wow this really isn't my season for blogging that's for sure. No offense, I've just been busy getting back into the groove of things at work and home. Computer time is limited due to it all.
A lot of good things have happened, seemingly little, yet huge. The kids are on Christmas break right now. It's really a nice change to only have to get myself up in the morning and get ready with no rush. It's also really nice to be able to come straight home after work instead of waiting on the kids to get out for 30 minutes, then take them home after speaking with their teachers and so on.
My medicine is doing very well. It's working in the ways I need it to, which is very good. I don't have any side effect really other than just feeling a tad bit tired all the time, but it's really nothing much.
I went to karaoke last night. It was really fun. I got some extremely encouraging feedback from many people....I needed that. For awhile there I was really questioning my ability to sing. Yes of course I need work, but it's good to know I don't have to start from the very beginning. I finally met some people there I've been trying to meet for awhile. I got to catch up with other people that go there regularly. It was all very awesome and good for me. I'm kind of sad that next Monday is Christmas and there won't be karaoke. I'll have to aim for another night at another place.
I now own power tools! I own a drill, rotary tool, and a power saw. I'm frigging excited about that! My mom couldn't have been happier that I asked for power tools for Christmas. She's so funny.
Well, not much else on my mind to say. Laters!
A lot of good things have happened, seemingly little, yet huge. The kids are on Christmas break right now. It's really a nice change to only have to get myself up in the morning and get ready with no rush. It's also really nice to be able to come straight home after work instead of waiting on the kids to get out for 30 minutes, then take them home after speaking with their teachers and so on.
My medicine is doing very well. It's working in the ways I need it to, which is very good. I don't have any side effect really other than just feeling a tad bit tired all the time, but it's really nothing much.
I went to karaoke last night. It was really fun. I got some extremely encouraging feedback from many people....I needed that. For awhile there I was really questioning my ability to sing. Yes of course I need work, but it's good to know I don't have to start from the very beginning. I finally met some people there I've been trying to meet for awhile. I got to catch up with other people that go there regularly. It was all very awesome and good for me. I'm kind of sad that next Monday is Christmas and there won't be karaoke. I'll have to aim for another night at another place.
I now own power tools! I own a drill, rotary tool, and a power saw. I'm frigging excited about that! My mom couldn't have been happier that I asked for power tools for Christmas. She's so funny.
Well, not much else on my mind to say. Laters!
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Tomorrow is for work
Tomorrow I go back to work. Yes I actually still have a job. My boss rocks! I hope to be on track and get things done the same if not better than when I left.
I started on an anti-depressant/anxiety medication three days ago. I won't know much about it helping for maybe another week, but it may take longer. So we will see how it goes. I've been feeling sketchy and really tired lately, but yesterday and today I have been out of bed (where I've been the past week) and cleaning house and rummaging through kid clothes, and trying to figure out how we can't help get our stuff to not be clutter. I feel a solution is underway. Any ideas or tips of organizing would be wonderful...I suck at this.
Okay, I think I am off to watch a movie while I label my coverless VHS tapes.....yes we still own these, and actually continue to buy them due to incredible pricing.
I started on an anti-depressant/anxiety medication three days ago. I won't know much about it helping for maybe another week, but it may take longer. So we will see how it goes. I've been feeling sketchy and really tired lately, but yesterday and today I have been out of bed (where I've been the past week) and cleaning house and rummaging through kid clothes, and trying to figure out how we can't help get our stuff to not be clutter. I feel a solution is underway. Any ideas or tips of organizing would be wonderful...I suck at this.
Okay, I think I am off to watch a movie while I label my coverless VHS tapes.....yes we still own these, and actually continue to buy them due to incredible pricing.
Monday, November 27, 2006
home
I arrived late Friday night here at home. I've been gone for three weeks almost. It's good to be home. It's going to take time to get adjusted and change some things, but that's okay. If it were a quick fix I don't think we would learn much from it. I'm going to go see a doctor about anti-depressants soon. This is a confusing issue for me, but I hope it won't be after I get more information. Since I've been home I've been going through an exhausting down period. I don't like it. I want to be able to tolerate the little things and be rational for the big ones. We'll see where it goes and what will happen. I need something, my body is obviously not equipped to handle my swings. I have tried taking SAM-e for awhile. It helped at first, but not anymore. Time to move onto something else.
By the way, just for the record.....I drove 16 hours, in one day, with three kids by myself...SUPER MOM!
By the way, just for the record.....I drove 16 hours, in one day, with three kids by myself...SUPER MOM!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
So many thoughts, not enough brain space
I've been extremely neglectful of my blog lately.....purposefully, though. I've wanted to blog, but not so sure as to how to blog : truthfully, freely, responsibly.
I'm here currently in Indiana at my mother's home with the kids. I've been here going close to two weeks now. I've been on quite a journey since I have been here. The first couple of days were meant for no thinking about anything I was taking a break from. I did this somewhat successfully. Then I went into Spastic mode of not knowing which direction to go, what I wanted, and then it hit me......maybe I should just stop trying to figure that out and just find myself once again. I've lost a part of myself I may never be able to get back. I'm not sure how it happened, it just did. I was easily losing myself and things I enjoyed and appreciated about myself. In it's place I have found a deep strong fear. Fear of many things such as my singing, my art, my sewing, myself as a person (mother, wife, friend......) It was a hole sucking the very life out of me....sucking out the hope of any light being shed upon our struggling family. That fear is what is killing my spirit.
To be broken is a lot of things, but one thing it isn't is painless. During this time of no light seen and no hope felt, I decided to push myself to really seek the true face of God and His view on my life. I was tired of getting no where with my view...
Let's face it running in circles gets you faster to insanity than anything when it comes to your emotions. Through God's grace I have been able to build that hope up inside me, that passion I use to have, but also through God's grace and mercy, I was able to mend a long lost friendship together once again. A friendship I had turned my back on because of fear. It's amazing how long this gap was, yet how easily once given an opportunity, how God could build a bridge and send healing. I aim to come home next week. I hope to be ready to be strong and sincere, and loving.
I'm here currently in Indiana at my mother's home with the kids. I've been here going close to two weeks now. I've been on quite a journey since I have been here. The first couple of days were meant for no thinking about anything I was taking a break from. I did this somewhat successfully. Then I went into Spastic mode of not knowing which direction to go, what I wanted, and then it hit me......maybe I should just stop trying to figure that out and just find myself once again. I've lost a part of myself I may never be able to get back. I'm not sure how it happened, it just did. I was easily losing myself and things I enjoyed and appreciated about myself. In it's place I have found a deep strong fear. Fear of many things such as my singing, my art, my sewing, myself as a person (mother, wife, friend......) It was a hole sucking the very life out of me....sucking out the hope of any light being shed upon our struggling family. That fear is what is killing my spirit.
To be broken is a lot of things, but one thing it isn't is painless. During this time of no light seen and no hope felt, I decided to push myself to really seek the true face of God and His view on my life. I was tired of getting no where with my view...
Let's face it running in circles gets you faster to insanity than anything when it comes to your emotions. Through God's grace I have been able to build that hope up inside me, that passion I use to have, but also through God's grace and mercy, I was able to mend a long lost friendship together once again. A friendship I had turned my back on because of fear. It's amazing how long this gap was, yet how easily once given an opportunity, how God could build a bridge and send healing. I aim to come home next week. I hope to be ready to be strong and sincere, and loving.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Kid's Fall Fest
This night was a lot of fun. I got to paint all over other people's kids, while other children read stories and sang songs. Great food, great people. I unfortunately missed a lot of the stories/songs, but it was still a good time. Saw some friends I haven't seen in a long time...very good stuff. It's good to see their faces. Some live in San Fran, and some live here in Dallas, but our schedules clash very often. I hope to spend more time with them tomorrow.
So I'm singing a song tomorrow.....I'm excited, but am convinced I'll suck. We'll see. I pray God will give me the voice and rhythm if this will be inspiring to anyone at all.
I think that is all I can dig up for now. My camera is working once again. Pictures soon to come to my flickr page.
So I'm singing a song tomorrow.....I'm excited, but am convinced I'll suck. We'll see. I pray God will give me the voice and rhythm if this will be inspiring to anyone at all.
I think that is all I can dig up for now. My camera is working once again. Pictures soon to come to my flickr page.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Not much Time...But Must Blog
So it has been awhile since my last blog.....bad Heather!
Sorry I've been both going insane and have been extremely busy at the same time. I'm tired and worn, but there have been some great things have happened.
We are officially and totally moved. Well, there is one car full left, but other than that, we're out of there! Yay!
I got to go to an Evanescence concert (MY FAVORITE BAND)! Not ONLY did I get to go , but I also got to meet them! It was really cool. I needed to get out, and that was just fun. It was an awesome show, and even though I was by myself, it rocked!
Our family is becoming a better family than we have been in a really long time. We are just grooving together better. Tis really good.
I did a face painting/tattoo booth at the school fall carnival today. It was fun and my booth made $130.00 for the school. I rock.....okay maybe not, but it was good to be a part of it while the kids ran about and played games.
I'm exhausted right now, but I wanted to check in with you guys, if there is anyone out there. Take care!
Sorry I've been both going insane and have been extremely busy at the same time. I'm tired and worn, but there have been some great things have happened.
We are officially and totally moved. Well, there is one car full left, but other than that, we're out of there! Yay!
I got to go to an Evanescence concert (MY FAVORITE BAND)! Not ONLY did I get to go , but I also got to meet them! It was really cool. I needed to get out, and that was just fun. It was an awesome show, and even though I was by myself, it rocked!
Our family is becoming a better family than we have been in a really long time. We are just grooving together better. Tis really good.
I did a face painting/tattoo booth at the school fall carnival today. It was fun and my booth made $130.00 for the school. I rock.....okay maybe not, but it was good to be a part of it while the kids ran about and played games.
I'm exhausted right now, but I wanted to check in with you guys, if there is anyone out there. Take care!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Still waiting
Yep, it may be a little while before we are again connected in the web world. On top of that my email account, well the only one that I use for important emails anyways, is out of order. I'm hoping to get that fixed soon.
Please keep your prayers going for our lil family. A lot of struggles right now. Please lift up Mikah, he's going through a ton of things he doesn't understand. Thanks.
Please keep your prayers going for our lil family. A lot of struggles right now. Please lift up Mikah, he's going through a ton of things he doesn't understand. Thanks.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Waiting for technology
We don't have internet or a home phone, due to the internet. We do have our cell, so if you need to contact us, that's the way to go. Please be praying for our family. I can't go into details, but we truly need every single prayer we can get. Thanks.
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