drop me

I am so behind on my homework. Losing control of that peaceful part in your body where you don't freak out and just want to scream, at anyone, everyone. Just because, not that they are doing anything wrong, but when your emotional control is wrong then everything is wrong. Whether it was a smile or a laugh, it has to stop. It just needs to stop, even if just for that one second of clarity. Don't forget to breath, slowly. Repeat, I am okay over and over until maybe one day I will believe it. I know it sounds like I'm losing my mind, and maybe I am.

I am, currently in a house that lives, moves, is turned upside down constantly. But ever since I have had children, this has always been true. Nothing different. Just take my family times three minus two and you have our house.

Well back to brain crunching. Finish the paper I just can't finish, finish my math work that seems never-ending, then study for the test, then prepare for the other test I feel so far from being prepared for..... I haven't even thought about it yet. One step, the first step counts the most,,, just keep swimming , swimming, swimming. What do we do, we swim, swim.

Losing things like days...minds.....

Emotional, offset, crazy, flighty, forgetful, space-case, over-whelmed, under-whelmed........is there ever a time to just whelm it all around?

Hello, my name is Heather and I suffer from anxiety& depression. Wow, it doesn't sound so crapped up when you type it out. Huh, maybe that's why at support meetings you introduce yourself not only to other people and what you are going through but also to yourself. I know that idea may cross others, as queer, strange and odd, but maybe you just have to step outside yourself to get to know who you are. what makes you what defines the inner uniquity that makes you you.

Here lately I have felt like I have been losing my mind, having memory loss episodes that throw me straight into chaos. Before this happened I would wake up in the middle of the night with an anxiety/panic attack. Or I would just be sitting there, most of the time that means Studying, calm and what not and my heart will just start pumping, adrenaline is surging and I feel like I'm freaking out and I DON'T know why. NOT COOL.

I've been in and out of the doctor's office twice the past couple of weeks, trying to get a grip. The first med change turned me into a zombie and I have yet to wait for this next med change to take action. I know a lot of people are anti-meds, but honestly, without the Lexapro I have been on, my life would still be an extreme up down and back to hell again broken roller coaster ride that never ended.

Now I'm just taking a break, just to put my random thoughts of weirdness down. Is it entertaining for you? It does good for me....

I am biased, but my kids are too frikkin cute. Asa is talking like a madman and has a personality out of no where. He feels the urge to be stronger than everone because he's use to being the youngest one who couldn't keep up.

Kiara is the quirky little princess of mine who tries to be prissy with a baby-talk accent. She let her daddy take out a tooth today, that's her second gap right now, and she's got three others that want to come out, so she will soon be the toothlessth wonder. She's still my power prayer warrior.

Mikah, he's just funny. He makes up scenarios in his head like a comic strip. He's creative, and super sensitive. God's tugging at him, I see resistence here and there, but that natural love for God is growing inside him. I look at him and just get that feeling that greatness awaits just around the corner. Not sure what, who or how, but just something.

My sweet husband. Always working harder and harder to be that daddy he knew he could be and in my eyes, he done passed it. He's been so patient with me during this emotional time, and I have been able to lean on him and just trust him to care for me when I cannot do it for myself. When I see how much better we both are in our marriage I just want to praise God. We all need work, this is a journey after all, but day in and day out I'm so grateful that he is my life partner in crime.

We looked at a house today, it was awesome. Keep praying for everything to go and grow in God's way, not our's. Good night.

Blessings

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

My brain is tired, my body feels exhausted and yet again I have a paper due tomorrow I am getting stuck on over and over again. Grrrrrrrrrr. So here I am writing about something else in hopes that my brain and I will begin to work together once again.

My oldest son Mikah always as something to make me think and feel I am so not ready to have him grow up yet, and at that same moment I'm excited and hopeful about the man he will become. Of course I feel the same way about the other two, but he's older and I see more maturity in him than the other two for obvious reasons.

When I study, I go and hide in our big family bedroom. He comes back there to grab something or whatnot, then comes over to me and hugs me and says he's proud I study so hard, gives me an almost tearful smile then walks out of the room. This he has done in scrambled ways many times. Makes me all fuzzy inside.

There is a little 2 year old girl and a 3 month old girl living with us as well. There was a time when the 2 year old was not able to get out of her crib yet, because the adult had said no. Apparently when the adult came in to get her 15 minutes later, she found Mikah sitting there reading to the 2 year old. And on top of that he is the only one who can get her to repeat anything (which we have found that Mikah can be a jokster at this) The 3 month old, he just melts over, anything that can make her smile, he is so willing to go the extra mile to do it. THAT GUY JUST ROCK!

Kiara has been my little singer. She's just in love with singer and asks me to sing to her every night before bed. The night of church, I saw her drummin on someone's guitar case, singing "There's a Stirring" (thx Kristen,luv ya) which is one of Kiwi's favorite songs.

Well, my brain is finally allowing me to do something called an essay so I best jump off here and take advantage. Blessings everyone!

Yes this is personal, but why hide God's Love

Danae, the only thing I can tell you is that living with our pastors and in community has been the one true thing that has helped us. Scott and I lost each other long ago and were just barely surviving each day. Eventually when I was right about to take the final step of making an end of our marriage, God threw truth in my face and showed me where I needed to be by showing me where the best place for the ones I hold so dear are-my children whom I just happened to let Scott take when I told him I gave up.

I had to see the sins I had and that it wasn't all Scott. Yes he had his part too, but honestly when I came back, I had a great friend that God spoke through to me and how she didn't even recognize me anymore. Yeah it hurt and burned hearing it, but hey sometimes love hurts and sometimes when we as people need change in someone so bad, we normally have to begin the change with ourselves. I don't know what you are going through recently, but all I know is that I'm praying for you. I have never forgotten you in my prayers.I will email sometime son and we can do our prayers and whatnots then. Love you girl.....sorry if blogging this was weird, but I felt that this was something a lot of people didn't know.

My brain is moving and it won't stop

So lately I have been suffering from these anxiety/panic attacks. They just come out of no where and all of a sudden I feel like I just want to scream. My heart starts pounding and I just feel out of control. I saw my doctor about it and she put me on something that I can take that calms me down. I'm half and half when it comes to pharmaceuticals. A big part of me wants to go herbal and homeopathic all the way, but then the other part of me is just so desperate to get these issues fix, no more testing the waters. Anyways I'm going to continue to work with my doctor and also find out if there are any herbal remedies I can also mix in for my issues.

On other issues, I will be calling to set up some appointments to check out these two townhomes that are side by side for our possible future community house. Any prayers on the would be fantabulous. Other than all that, I'm studying my guts out, Scott and I are doing very good, and the kids rock, yes sometimes they rock the houseboat in not a good way, but hey they are just kids, can't change that :)

Blessings

Here I am

So it has been told to me in nicer words I need to get off my lazy ass and start blogging again. Here I am!
What's been going on with Heather: I have been going to school full-time at El Centro College. I am aiming for nursing or ultrasound technician. Right now I am taking college english, almost college math(haven't a clue on tech term) and human anatomy and physiology. Pretty cool and definitely keeps me busy.

What the Miller's are doing. We are going through an exciting healing process and becoming the family God intended for us to be more and more. Yes there are days where I just want to kick Scott in his butt, but most of the time I restrain myself and use words. I am always telling my kids to use their words, its time I listen.

Right now we are living with the Poe's........on purpose even. Both of our families have thought and prayed hard about it and we all feel its for long term, not sure how long, but that's God's deal not our's. More than a month ago the Mattingly family of five moved in as well. Its been a backa dn forth transition, but adapting to that many people inside one 3 bedroom house can be. Luckily before Scott and the kids arrive the back garage had been changed into a sleeping quarters for the Miller crew.

We are currently homeschooling the Piller (Poe & Miller) kids, which has been fun and adventurest and challenging at times. I don't get to help much because I normally take that time to study. Also we are currently looking for a six bedroom house with at least 2-3 baths in a location that we can still have church and many members/friends do not have to travel. I really feel God has this place already picked out but right now we just have to obey him and learn to listen to His heart so we can find it. Please pray for this to happen in God's timing. With the financial horror all over the world, we are continuously trying to just look at God's economy.

Specific Prayers just from me are:
-5-6 bedrooms with at least an extra room
-2-3 bathrooms
-a lot of parking area for church
-a big (hopefully fenced in) backyard for the kids to play and gardening
-Big living room for community living
-specific place for dining table to stay put, making it easier for community meals during church and during everyday life
-home school room
-needs to be safe to live in, no infestations,mold,about to fall apart

Wow that looks like a lot when you write it out, but right now all I can do is pray and the more who do, that would rock.

Thanks for your prayers and I will try to blog when I can.

Blessings

Boycotting Election Yet again

I do have to be honest, I was going to vote this year. WAS. I argued with myself constantly about why I should vote. They say our voice counts...wtf ever. Our voice only would count if they counted EACH vote, instead of this electoral college crud.

Let me tell you why I was going to vote. At first it only struck my interest because my english teacher is passing out bonus points for voters....I know I am sooooooooooo pathetic. Then I realized how pathetic it was for me to only vote because of bonus points.

Then I figured, well maybe its time for me to just vote and at least be able to say there I voted, but it didn't make a difference anyways because the state I live in.

So anyways I go back and forth over all of the crap and when I finally realize my chance for registering might be at an end, I looked online and it was. So much for that.

Last time I blogged about this, some person with an opinion like myself pretty much told me I had no right to complain about who became president and all of that hoopla. In my OPINION to those people, they can shovel it because with the mess Bush 1 and Bush 2 drugged this country with it'll take not only a saint, but a magician to lift this country up, and I don't believe any politician in that matter can do that. In the end it will take an uproar of people, much protest and a rise of the people to claim this country back from the government.

We also need to stop killing our brothers and sisters over in these other countries and just bring them home already and let our other brothers and sisters be at peace not worrying about whether or not one of our explosives are going to kill their children.

Overall, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is my opinion, take, leave, or burn it.

Life in Community

Wow, major jumps from where my last post left off. I'm a slacker in my moments and blogging definitely got left behind for awhile. For those who don't know, I am now in Dallas living with my family in community with the Poes. It's been really good and humbling at points. Just a short tidbit on what happened and why we are here...... Our family was covered and covering sins, not addressing them, and just smiling on the outside while we were screaming on the inside. We were in a cycle that could only be broken by God, and when we went up to South Dakota, the truth hit and it hit harder than ever. Shocked, scared and feeling majorly lost I almost broke a marriage that is meant to last forever.
Scott and the kids had went to Indiana for a little while until our church helped them come back home to Dallas. There the major transformation had begun. They all went through some extreme changes where God just carried their hearts closer to Him and Scotty and the kids had one on one councel and discipleship by living with the pastors of our church.
I however was still covered and digging deeper holes than ever. I had came down to Dallas to visit, and God had put on a friend's heart to confront me, and boy did she. She did it the way it needed to be. Upfront, honest, passionate, loving, yet also convicting in such a way I would understand the extreme need for change. I didn't only need to change, I needed to be transformed from the inside like a clean sweep.
I went back to Dallas struggling, back and forth about what I should do and how I should do it. Just up and leave my father's company, that seemed so difficult and humbling because he expected me to be there. I cancel the bid on our house, and began to sell a lot of my things so I could get back. But I was still wanting to find many ways to hesitate and stall the move that would freak out my father. One day I was ironing, which is freaky cause I never iron, and as I was clearing away the wrinkles in my clothes God spoke to me through the process. He helped me see and feel that He wanted to do the same with me. He wanted to iron my the wrinkles. Also I felt Him saying that the sooner I get back, the sooner I can expect transformation.
When I got back I struggled in my new skin, the healing process isn't an easy one with many wounds.-------to be continued.......

In South Dakota

Here we are in South Dakota, Sioux Falls to be exact. We are buying house here, and this Monday I will be beginning my job with a big company my dad is helping to head up. It is a company really diving into eco-energy in the coolest ways. Here soon I will be heading up the charity division of the company. I'm so thrilled about this part of it. I'll will be pretty much building this from the ground up. I will be able to explain better later once things get going.

One really awesome this is that a friend I have made while I was in Dallas will be moving up here shortly. It's going to be awesome. Her and her girls will come and stay with us until they get on their feet here. Just a fresh new start. And our loving father definitely knows she needs it. All the prayers would be awesome. If anyone is inte4rested in helping her move items to a storage space and help her pack up, let me know.

I also got in touch with a good friend of mine. This past 1.5 years her daughter has been going through a rough time with her manic depression and bi-polar disorder. She has been so tired in her heart because of her experience through her daughter's wellness. Please pray that she would seek God during this time and allow Him to love her.

The kids will start school here on Tuesday. I'm excited for them. They both love school so much, this will definitely be a nice change. So far they have been having so much fun just playing with my nephew and seeing family.

We did get to see some family in Indiana. It was really nice. Got to hang out with the grandparents and then with the great grandparents, then with my aunts and cousins as well as my mother.

Also in between there I went to Dallas for St. Patrick's Day weekend and did some henna at the Tipperary Inn. It was fun, had some really awesome and random conversations. It really appeared that God had me there for listening, and opening my life and heart. I had a lot of people just come up and share their problems of what's all been going on with their lives and some even seeking God but resisting because of all the turmoil.

The days after that I went friend hopping and visited quite a few friends. It was awesome to see everyone again.

Well so much more to come, but must come another day. Take care all and many blessings shined.

My Heart

Tonight I've struggled with so many things all at once. My biggest was forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an easy gift to give, but without being able to give it, out tear down apiece of you every single day you hold back to give it. I've had to learn to forgive a long time ago with my father. This was hard, one of the hardest things I have ever done, but after years of praying for him and for myself to be able to forgive him fully, I have seen the true beauty that God has put into my father. He was an alcoholic for years and there was never a piece of him that showed remorse for the damage that his actions caused my family. It was hard, with all of the lies and deception, but finally I was able to do it. God gave me a gift of seeing what He could do when I went to visit my dad this year. I found out when I was there that it had been more than two years since his last drink. Not only that but he was just a totally different person living in a community of love and family always supportive. These memories all came to me at once, and has helped me forgive the one I need to at this pressing time. Thanks be to God.

Another thing I've struggled with tonight is my schooling. I've been really sick this week with a chest cold and before it was migraines. My schoolwork is definitely starting to show the lack of participation I have because of these things. I question a lot of going to school because of it and that doesn't put me in a good place. I will keep pressing on though, and get through this semester, and pray that God will keep the doors open for when the next semester begins. Thanks be to God I have made it this far.

My heart has always been towards helping others since God has filled my heart, but I have always been confused and baffled of where to start. With so many problems in this world and so many people, its difficult to find the place where I fit in inside His plan. So what have I done? I have been scattered all over the place, building relationships, helping those around me, and once I find something else, I jump at it leaving the others. This is not what God planned, but this is what I have done trying to find my place. Doing something I strongly desire and being able to make a living at it, so I can actually stick with it. Henna parties, karaoke, my close friends God has gave me through relationship building, all of it got left behind for school. Yes, school is important, and I prayed about it a lot before I jumped into it, but my heart feels like it is being tugged at once again. Children with cancer, it's not something that can be overlooked because its too hard to bare. And here it is on my heart and I want to jump into it like crazy and bring beautiful smiles on these courageous children. I want to show them the angels that are with them, and bring hope once again to their families. I want to show my children how much love they can bring to others. I want to bring encouragement to the staff that goes to work everyday to take of these angels and show them how much they are appreciated. I want to celebrate everyday these kids battle with them. .....But is this where God wants me? Do I continue to go to school, and get my nursing degree and go into this field? Or do I take a leap of faith and just do it now? Degrees, extra money, financial security, throw that out the window. My question for God is how He wants me to do this. I never receive passions this strong for nothing, but I want to do this right. His way, not my way. Please pray for God to give me the guidance in this and for it to be so strong and knowing that I can't ignore it. Thank you.

Yup, more and more prayers.....THANKS!

So many things and yet again so little time to talk about it. Here's a quick summary of what has all happened in the past couple of weeks and what is soon to come:


Past:

1. My friend's grandmother who was nearing death so fast, got her leg amputated and will get to go home soon. Please pray for a great home nurse and the capabilities of her family to care for her.
2. My friend who has been in severe need of a car is getting one in a little bit. Still some things to get sorted, but things are happening in that direction.
3. I've been having henna parties at my house where ladies will come and get some henna for a decent price. This helps out when funds are low. Please pray that this will keep going good and get better.
4. I went out to Garland, TX the saturday before July 4th, with a henna booth. It was going so good then the rains came, and ruined mine and my partners items. Everything was soaked and many things had to be thrown away and we are still in the works of replacing it. Plus after the rains we got sent home due to more storms, and we all ended up losing money.
   

5. Mikah has a guitar and is slowly but surely trying to learn it. He's easily discouraged, so please pray for encouragement & discipline.


Looking Forward to:

1. July 14th, Spiritual Retreat.....just praying and reading the bible, and listening/ pray for clarity, refreshment, and my friend and I to have a total God experience
   
2. Building Dallas Henna business......not sure if this will happen sooner or later , please pray for clarity on this
3. School, I start college in August. I will be taking some pre-requisite classes to prepare for nursing school in a year or so. Pray for discipine, patience, clarity, open mind/heart, for my family, babysitting
4. Job promotion at my job.....this will come soon, not sure when, but it will happen if I'm there for this next year. Pray for encouragement and discipline.
5. Kid go back to school in August. Please pray that we will be able to figure out what school, where, how, yada yada yada
6. Helping my friend build relationships in her neighborhood

That's just off the top of my head. I'm sure there is more, but here's some prayer concerns I have:

1. My husband grandfather isn't doing well at all. He is a great man and a great servant of Christ. Please pray for a painless journey home, care and wisdom for those left behind, and that Scott and the family will be able to make it there when it is our time to be there.
2. My friend's family, they have broken up, but are slowly getting back to some kind of connection that is somewhat healthy, pray for this family to learn forgiveness, and use it for good, pray for redemption and the son of God to be poured on their hearts
3. Pray for me and my medication to continue to work for my anxiety and depression
4. Pray for Mikah and fill him with compassion and mercy and for him to be able to communicate what bothers him
5. Pray for Kiara and that she will be strong when she just wants to crumble away, but also allow her heart to be kept full of the love and sweetness she has for others
6. Pray for Asa that he learns well and becomes disciplined, and a bit more steady.
   
7. Pray that our family will be binded together in the holiness of God and that we will be and example of His love together
8. And just pray for each other and all of those around you.
   

yo-yo

I'm not quite sure how I feel at the moment. The past couple of weeks have been momentous, and just go, go, go. There's a lot of good things happening and bad things, but hey that's life, and that's why I am here, for the good and the bad, just as long as I'm on God's path...I'm good.

I'm learning a lot more on how to just trust God and allow Him to wow you. I also know that it's always at the last minute, but hey that's okay too.

I am very tired at the moment, but I mostly wanted to jump up here and ask you all to keep praying for energy for me, as well as organization in my life a tad bit. Thanks, I'll write more soon.

Prayer Update

Thank you all for praying. I'm writing again for prayer updates. Honestly I don't do well at writing these kinds of things, but there's just so much going on I need more prayer and support.

Yesterday I took my friend to go get her sister from her mother's because her mother hasn't been taking care of her due to her own addictions. There are so many issues with this particular situation, and it's really hard to go into all of it right now. We need clothing pants/shorts size 18-20, and 1x-2x shirts for her sister. All of her clothing that she does have has holes all over them, and even those we were unable to get because we didn't want to have any confrontations at her mother's home. There are difficult times coming up considering legal issues and all of that, but we are very soon to battle for my friend's custody of her sister who is mute/deaf/mentally handicapped. Please pray that this will happen and if any money is needed God will provide graciously. Time has passed to be patient with her mother to sober up and take care of her. We must take care of her first and foremost.

Another karaoke update: I went last night and there were so many people that I haven't seen in awhile, I got to reconnect with them. There was this one guy in particular that when I first met him, he was in this "If there is a God, He really hates me." mindset. Over the time I have spent with him he has held onto that very tightly. Well, last night was different. I had a hard time last night , because of everything going on with my friend so I talked with him about some of it, and the first thing he said about it was, "Thank God you were there for her!" and mentioned something about it was too easy of a coincidence to be a coincidence. This is where in my mind's eye I saw God laughing at my amazement!

Also I gathered up more names for a henna party. Pray for a babysitter....and the money for one, because there is at least 25 people for a henna party and we will have many of their kids needing to be cared for during this time. By the way, the number 25 is only the adults! Tomorrow I will be setting the date in stone and contacting all those who are interested in coming. Pray for a great response and turnout! Most of these ladies I have only met once, and am hoping some of them will be around a tad bit more.

More things needed for prayer: Mikah and Kiara's schooling next year. My heart is leaning against public school next year. I've been fighting it, but then a friend came to me and confirmed what God is nudging at. I have no idea what will become of it all, but please pray for clarity, understanding, capability, and enjoyment in whatever better way God has for us. Right now I look back and Mikah isn't being challenged academically enough, neither is Kiara. Also The kids are coming home miserable more days than happy.

I will be spending this summer doing workshops for our kids in the community to keep up on what they have learned, but also on challenging where they want to be challenged. For toddlers Asa's age, I'll be teaching ABC's 1-2-3s, and a lot of vocalizing and speech. Kiara's age group will begin to learn how to read and do more with math, but the biggest focus will be the reading. Mikah's age will learn more cursive, get awesome at multiplication/division, and perfect at subtracting/addition/fractions, as well as some science/art projects here and there. What I need for this is art supplies, paper, books easy and hard, dry erase markers, finger paint, and simple things like paper plates, brown lunch paper bags, straws, cotton balls, and glue. I'm sure there's more, but that's just off the top of my head. Also if there is anyone who wants to volunteer their time let me know. I should have a schedule set up by June 15th.

I also need some serious prayers for my sister-in-law. She has been so sick with pancreatitis among her other health problems. She can't eat anything without getting sick, not even a sip of water. She's going so anemic, they had to give her blood transfusions. She's is constant severe pain, they have to give her extremely heavy amounts of pain meds to keep her somewhat okay. And just here recently she's just been so frustrated with always being admitted into the hospital and not being able to live a normal life, she signed herself out of the hospital against medical advice. She's so out of it, and frustrated, and sick, please pray for her health all around.

Lastly, I need prayers for our financial area. Both of our cars need work. Especially my husband's, the brakes are in yucky shape. Also, here lately I have been needing to drive around a lot to help my friend, and go places. Gas prices keep rising and I know my friend doesn't have any money to help with that. Also I've been driving a lot at work and for karaoke. So those are the situations as of now. I am sorry to keep emailing you all, but with so much going on I really need some heavy prayers going everywhere. Thank you so much. Please keep praying and I'll definitely keep you all updated.

Happy mommy's day

“When God created mothers”
by: Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of overtime when the angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”
And the Lord said, “Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 movable parts....all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And six pairs of hands.”
The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands? No way.”
“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”
“That’s on a standard model?” asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t, but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”
“Lord,” said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, “come to bed. Tomorrow--”
“I can’t,” said the Lord. “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.”
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.
“But tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You can not imagine what this mother can do or endure.”
“Can it think?”
“Not only think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.”
“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”
“What’s it for?”
“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”
“You are a genius,” said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there.”

Wowza

There has been quite a lot going on here recently. I've been learning very quickly that when you throw a lot of worried prayers of pleading Him to reveal Himself in the areas you feel called to, He sometimes gives it all to you at once.


It has been awhile since my last henna party and I've been sad because of it, but just too tired and busy. Well recently I've been busy meeting people and setting up at least 4 different groups of ladies who what to come to one of my henna parties. I've been being a part of some art shows and have met many different kinds of great people for networking. That's been a lot of fun.

Also soon I'm going to do some craft fairs this summer to raise some money, and am hoping to do it with a group of friends I met from my last job. And at the picnics for my kids' last days at school I am coming in to do face painting with the kids, get phone numbers from some parents and have some get togethers over the summer to keep in touch.

Also my best friend has moved very close to us, so I am able to see her and help her much more than ever before. She use to live 20 minutes from us and now she is only 4 minutes away. This is such an answered prayer in so many ways. God has His eyes on this family in a very serious God pouring His grace, love, and mercifuless ways. Because I'm now able to see her more, I am also seeing a bunch of her other family members as well. I've been actually considered as part of the family. It is so strange how much they have been changing around me and, before her family just wasn't sure about me and my motives. But now they invite me to every event they have. God has so much more to reveal to them, I can't wait for Him to open their hearts up to Him.

My friend, who I met working at Michael's, is already reaching for God in so many ways. Her heart just hungers for Him and community, and it's helping me crave more of that hunger. Like a team.

Karaoke: This can be a long one, so please bear with me. One night as I was on my way to karaoke, I found myself frustrated about going to karaoke. I'm totally okay with going, but this has been every week for quite a while, and there for a while, it seemed like the crowd was changing and I lost touch of certain people.

Well, so I pretty much asked God if He was wanted me to keep going to the karaoke bar, then I needed Him to reveal to me what He sees and why I need to go so often, as well as some encouragement about it all. Well that very night a girl I've talked with many times just totally opened up to me, and I was able to be there for her in a rough time. The same night this guy who normally comes in with his wife, and so I went up to him and asked him where she was, and he told me about how she's been having a really rough time with her health and she can't really go anywhere.

Then just this last time my awesome friend and I were able to save at least one or more lives, by giving a guy a ride home when he was not okay at all to drive, but was going to anyways.

And just last night we were able to surprise our karaoke dj at another job on his birthday. He was really surprised it was awesome.

Also I've been making friends at my husband's work. I've been babysitting one of their kids, another one I just had a heart to heart conversation with about her son's sickness, and was able to I'm hoping open a door for God to jump into. Friends with some of his customers....just meeting so many people.

Today, I drove a friend's grandmother who is soon to pass away on a long ride to Abilene to say goodbye to her son. This has been one of the most difficult days for me. Its just so sad, but today God gave me a peace about it. I will soon be praying with her grandmother, and my friend.

Scott and I have also been trying to reconnect with some of our old friends in high school. It's always weird looking back at where you came from, but it's always refreshing when God drops His comfort and encouragement into it. There's much more I'm sure, but I'm really exhausted right now.

I really want to ask for prayer for energy and some good quality time with my family ( which should begin soon with school break :) ) , and just for strength for our own family to love each other more and more as we reach out to others together as a family. Thank you for all of your prayers and support.

Heather Miller

Yo, hello, fellow peeps!

Wow, all three kids are asleep, it's Friday night, PARTY!!!!! Yeah okay, maybe a beer or two, but tonight I'm working. On what you might ask? I get to be a part of Bride of the Cape. It's gonna have almost a hundred artists/cartoonists and they expect around 5000 people to come to this. I'm excited I was able to get in with the fabulous people from Art Love Magic to do my henna....God knows I need the money and I am more than willing to do this kind of thing for money because I enjoy, it's creative, I get to hang out with people and network/make relationships, oh yeah did I mention I get to do this for money??? I'm really thrilled. My henna thing is just growing and growing with my big umph behind it, I hope to take it far. Even if I only do it one or two weekends out of the month, this is rockin.

Okay guys, back to work for me :) Things work out smoothly the more you prep for it.

There without being there

I am not okay. Actually I am far from being okay. There are so many tragedies happening with members of my family and I can't be there with them. I've never been in this situation before that I couldn't be there. I was always there. But God has called us here, and I sometimes see why, but this is the most difficult thing I am struggling with. Not being able to be there. My heart is breaking for them all, and I know I may not be the best person for them to be around, but that is how I feel I am helping.

There has got to be a better way for me to reach out to my family, but I don't know how other than listening over the phone and pray. And cry.

My sister-in-law is in some really bad shape. Never-ending pain, always in the hospital, she's not doing well at all. On top of that she's dealing with some extreme things that I can't go into. Please pray for her healing, physical and emotional.

I'm in shock, and in extreme emotional pain, I'm sorry but I have no more words to express what I need to say.

Thank you for praying.

Down

I just found out yesterday morning that my 10 yr. old cousin past away. She's had seizures since she was a baby, and they were surprised she lived this long. My heart is torn apart by this. Really bad. I didn't know her, and I'm very sad that I didn't. I wish I could get up there for the funeral but right now my car and Scott's car really shouldn't take a trip like this without being fixed first. We don't have the money to fix the cars or make the trip. I'm just really trying to trust in God to find me a way up there to South Dakota. I know my family would understand if I can't go, but I feel I really need to be there for my family I've neglected to be in contact with for so many years. If I were to drive up there I would need to leave tomorrow. I know God would provide the funds and way if I need to be up there. I also know that he would mend my torn heart if I can't go. Just please pray, I feel a bit hopeless right now in my ability to go. I'm filled with so much regret. Thanks for listening.

ART, LOVE, MAGIC---YEAH BABY!

Oh yes, the time has come! Please come and support me and many other artists! I will be doing henna all night long and enjoying great conversations with many people. YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT! I went last time in February and it was SPECTACULAR! Bring your friends! Bring strangers! Contact me if you have any questions.

Answered Prayers

Praise God Almighty! Thank you all for your prayers! My friend received just the amount she needed to get her newly rented place! I want to thank EVERYONE involved in making this happen! When I told her she started crying, and was in disbelief. Her husband gave me a big grateful hug today, with watery eyes. This whole time, everytime I was around her, she was worrying about what was going to happen, and all I would tell her was that it'll all work out at the last minute, just keep praying for it.

And here we are handing her a check the day it needs to be turned in! I LOVE how God's grace works. What's so amazing is not only that this will really touch this family, but their WHOLE family and their friends. You know how God works. I feel so blessed to know them and be be on the sidelines to this.