wow this is kind of ironic/weird

So here's some praise towards the issue of people coming to me about their needs: a church here is willing to help us out totally with them. The problem I'm finding at this particular moment is the needs now. Granted there are one or two right now, but I can't find the others that were really stretched for it....I can't seem to get ahold of them. That's okay I guess I just hope they are doing okay, and don't need the help if I can't find them. (sigh)

What will this look like???????

So I'm finally here. My day off...yay! So far I've done nothing physical, other than shower, but my mental part is just going going going so fast. I have on my heart to somehow reach to the community. Actually go out and meet these people...get to know them. Do I plan to preach.....no. Do I plan to share the gospel....only if they ask or I feel genuinely led to. So what is it I desire and feel pushed to do? I want to go where the people are. Whether that be coffee shops, libraries, or whatever, I want to be there. I want to put myself there for days in on the week, have my presense there to be able to strike up a conversation. At the library I would love to be able to read to the kids a couple of times a week at least. I think this would be very awesome, a way to meet the parents/caregivers, and also reading to kids is just awesome for them and me. What is my problem????? Time. I don't have the time or energy right now, because of my job. And I definitely don't have the funds to cutback on hours or anything. I've been researching many options of how this can happen and I'm still at square one. I hope that the ball or a ball will start rolling before my mind makes up a bunch of discouraging issues that I would just rather avoid, than wade in it. What really pushes me is that this is the first crazy idea of mine that isn't at all selfish. It isn't out for gain or anything in the like. Here's to the FAITH! Cheers.

Just breath one breath at a time

So I'm still alive, of course, but I'm more than exhausted. I also found out just today my one day off this week isn't tomorrow, but Friday, so I guess I have yet one more day. I'm pretty much done with this job. I just can't function at home the way I need to...even when I work my regular schedule. So back on the hunt, hopefully I can find something fast. I hope I can find something I REALLY want to do.

What' also sucks about my exhaustion is that I'm easily fed lies and buy into them, causing me to just really stress out. Such as I'm not going to ever get to do I want career-wise, and will never find anything I actually enjoy. Also, if I quit this job then I will just end up in the same situation 6-8 months from the time I start. I also am starting to feel that I seriously lack in trust and faith, and this is killing my heart.

On the good side....my friend went in and they got her blood sugar under control. She's back on insulin shots, which she isn't happy about, but at least she has a way of keeping it under control. She is also joining us tonight for healing rooms where we just sit and pray for each other. This rocks.

I have survived thus far

I can't believe I can hold my head up after today, but God's been very generous in my energy issues. The kids are gone once again for my much needed rest. Yay God, yay community. I've got one more day until my day off. A day off sounds soooooooooo good.

Also on another note, please pray for my friend. She has diabetes and yesterday her blood sugar was extremely high, and today she went into ER and I'm still waiting to hear from her. She's only 23, and got diabetes from her pregnancy with her daughter. thanks.

ughhhhhhhhhhh

Crap.....no actually I mean shit. I came home today more than thoroughly exhausted. I have no energy, and my body hurts. (sigh) Tomorrow I face another really long day at work with a truck full of heavy ass boxes......I honestly don't feel as though I can make it through tomorrow. I guess I'll find out for sure.

Thank God for the community stepping up to help out. THANK GOD.

Whoa.....can I handle this?

So a lot has been happening in such a short time of being back. I came back to work, and this past week has been very exhausting. Unfortunately, the new schedule added on some more days on my work stretch from the previous week, so now I am to work 8 days in a row. On top of that, it's a full time week ( I'm seriously struggling physically with the part time weeks). So I plan to push through it, prayerfully and hopefully. The next two days I have really long days....I just pray that I can do it and get it done and in the past. My eyes are again open for another job. I've come to the realization that I just can't handle this kind of work. We'll see. Please pray for my physical well being and appetite. I can't seem to acquire an appetite and when I do I'm so tired I can't seem to fix anything healthy.

But on the brighter side of things I may be getting some assistance with helping people from a local church. This is a totally answered prayer and I can praise all day for it. Awhile ago people just started coming up to me about their needs, and I couldn't do much for them, but felt I needed to try something, so we contacted this church about it. Well, I've received the answer and I should know more soon. I'm so excited....all I ever wanted to do was help people and now I feel I can do so much more than just be there for them (which believe me is a great big deal, but now its a greater bigger deal.....if that is even english-language correct???) We'll see. More info later.

Thanks so much for the prayers. Take care!

Oh the joy of what henna can bring

We had a henna party last n ight and it went very well. We all had a blast. Kids everywhere, henna being painted all over everyone....even the kids got in on it! It was great time for fellowship, getting to know each other, and just plain hanging out. Two ladies from work came and I think I got them addicted.....because they came over again today for more!

So here lately God's been desiring me to just trust Him more. Trust that not only will He take care of my family and myself, but trust that He is in control of what I cannot be. Trust that He desires certain things out of me for the best in the future. This can be difficult and very humbling, but I'm trying to learn as much as I can from Him and the Church. I can't wait to see the path He's guiding me to.

We're back and I'm a slacker at blogging

We're back from vacation in Indiana. We got to see a lot of family and Asa and I even had the wonderful privelage of meeting a family I've been wishing to meet for quite the while as well. The trip took us 17.5 hours, yeah, that was interesting with 5 people in a five passenger sudan vehicle....heh heh heh. Actually the way up was pretty good, and the later end of the way down was as well. Granted there were times I just wanted to drop off the family and go somewhere by myself, but thankfully those moments didn't last long at all.

So how am I now that I had a break and a family fix????? Back where I started before, and maybe even a step or two back. I didn't pray as much down there and I wish I really had. I also really missed the community we have here at home.

I went back to work yesterday and I must say that was the hardest day I can remember enduring there. It was going to be hard anyways due to the fact that I have been gone for two + weeks and its physical, so I was out of habit. Also it was a truck day and those days are extra physical and extra tiring, plus you are there longer, and the emotions all around are pretty tense and stressed.

Today is the day tthat I am to give up cigarettes for good. I'm not that much of a smoker, just 5-7 cigarettes a day, but it is time to kick it for good. So far God's been gracious at keeping my mind and body busy, and taking care of my cravings. Tons of praises up to Him.

I have goals now that I am back.

1. to do more with those in our community with also the friends I have made at work and see how it goes. Hopefully something regular will come out of it.

2.to clean up our house from the trip, and organize what we got and get rid of what we just don't use/need.

3. check out some summer camps/things to do with the kids before they go into public school.