Today I feel stuck......really stuck. I feel as if I can't do things, yet I dream of so much more than what we are doing now. I wish to do so much with my family, but I feel there's just not enough courage for it. I find myself a little mad about it, but then I realize I'm in a coveting mood, then my emotions flip from anger to depressed. I don't know which way to even pursue, and what's being led, and what's being dreamt. I'm sure it's all dreamt, but is it led also?????? Yeah no specifics, cause there's just too much to go through on it. I want to travel everywhere, experience everything, and grow with people. I want our family to do this together. Granted we are a mess and might be forever, but I don't want to feel stuck anymore. I want to go on "adventures" and walk totally on faith.....but when it comes to the ordeal of us doing it as a family, we all have to be willing. The ways of the world causes too much of a wall for that sometimes. I'm tired of dreaming.....I'm tired of all of the things that separate me from reality and puts me in this place I find myself today. I'm tired of this wave that just keeps coming back.
Update:
After some time on my knees with God and some heavy prayer I have found a sense of peace. Still many questions, but there's some peace to it finally. I still feel pushed towards something, but I feel I have some time to figure out what it is. It's something good and challenging........time will tell. Thanks for listening.
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